Photo Monday

The weekend was pretty boring, except for the fact that one of our neighbours smashed up his car on Saturday night. It looks pretty bad. At least R5 000 damage. I think more. He's probably going to get quotes today because it's his work car (he has his own business) and he's going to need it pretty soon.

Speaking of cars, the other neighbour now says he's lost the photos of the burning car, but I have a picture of the burnt car:


It is lying on it's roof because they flipped it over to get it out of the road. It's now standing the right way up again, I think someone decided to strip what was left of the engine.

I bought the cutest Levi's shoes this weekend...I've also bought a black pair with the same kind of embroidery with little bits of red in. They were well priced and I've been getting lots of compliments on them. I <3>

Amber taking a bath. It's amazing how she can contort. She almost looks broken in this photo.

And Breathe...

I had an impassioned choir practice last night. I felt moved, challenged and motivated.

We have an amazing choir leader. When he conducts he is filled with emotion and you can almost feel the music through his facial expressions alone. Before I joined the choir I enjoyed watching him immensely. It's a little more difficult to watch him now that I'm singing because I have a lot of other things to focus on. He also sings for very large choirs that sometimes travel abroad, so he brings a lot of experience to the table.

He teaches us how to breathe properly, how to 'support' so that we can reach higher notes and make them sound better. He understands the terms of the music and tries to stay true to the composer's wishes. He pushes ALL the right buttons to make you push yourself and to make you want to do better. He is strict, but he does it for the love of the music.

At choir practice last night I sang until I was dizzy. Literally dizzy from singing high notes and keeping them there for long. I was actually exhausted when I got home. Last night I developed a whole new respect for my grandmother. My grandmother is an amazing soprano. She was one of the first solo artists to be recorded on LP for our church. She was invited to sing at many, many weddings - to the extent that my grandfather stopped accompanying her because he was bored. She is well known amongst members of our church - she's kind of famous. Thinking of how I felt last night I can't imagine how hard she must have worked to achieve what she has achieved. I have always loved my grandmother for her kindness and her innocent way, but I have another reason to admire her now. What a woman!

We have a District Apostle service coming up in April and will be having 2 choir practices with this choir leader each week. *phew*, there's a lot of work ahead of me, but I can only get better at singing by doing this.

P.S. I should be posting photos of that car a little later today, my neighbour said he'd send them to me. I also have new pictures of the jasmine bush which is blossoming beautifully!

P.S.S. Looks like my neighbour left work before sending me the pictures. I'll sock him one tonight.

*POUT*

I'm feeling really down today. Stepping on a scale will do that to you.

I've been trying to eat better, replacing some of my meals with healthier options. Yes OK, not all my meals. I reckon that each meal I don't eat junk food is a win.

I couldn't believe that I have picked up weight. I don't know anymore. Balls.

Little Girl Dreams

I was lying staring at the ceiling last night...I haven't gone to bed early in a while so I struggled to fall asleep and my thoughts wandered...

I thought about what I pictured my life to be like when I was a little girl. When I was 8 years old - what did I expect out of adulthood? Who did I think I would be? Did I turn out to be that way? I sure as hell didn't want to be married. Not for the conventional 'boys are gross' reasons, I just didn't want to be married. I didn't want to have a husband. I didn't want to have kids. I only recently started bouncing the idea of babies around in my head (within the last year or so). I didn't even really have a dream job then. All that mattered then were mud cakes, Barbie dolls and puppies.

I remember how we used to play 'teacher'. I used to love putting things in order. I used to love gathering papers, stapling them, putting them in plastic sleeves and filing them. You should see what a mess my filing is in now! I'm probably about 6 months behind - I suppose when you're young and you only go to school half day you have loads of time to file things, even though you have nothing to file. The irony is...well, ironic.

I didn't even have the desire to have a car or to drive...or to live on my own. Who would cook for me? Who would wash my clothes? Surely life without the parents [read: slaves] would be impossible!

As I lay in bed with my arms wrapped around Rudi feeling warm and safe I realized that I had the one thing that I wanted when I was a little girl. I have a man that loves me. I have someone that wraps his arms around me every night and makes me feel safe. Clearly I hadn't learnt the meaning of 'living in sin' or pre-marital sex. At that point sex wasn't even a factor. I just wanted to lie in someone's arms and feel safe.

I suppose if that is the standard I set for myself, even if I was young and naive, I have achieved my goal. I remember why I thought Rudi was 'the one'. When I lay in his arms I felt the same as when I lay in my grandfather's arms; a feeling of security, warmth and love. When I felt that, I knew.

Now I guess I need to treasure that. I have to realize that it is vulnerable and that I need to work at it and do my best to keep what I have. Heaven knows that relationships and marriages fail every day.

With all his faults and failings I love my husband. I will always love him and I hope he knows that.

What a Weekend

Happy Easter Everyone! I hope you guys all had a good long weekend.

I certainly had a good long weekend, but I'm not going to braai (BBQ) again for a long time. We had a braai on Friday, Saturday, Sunday AND Monday. I'm so sick of potato salad, toss salad and garlic bread it's not funny.

On one of the days we were chilling at the neighbour's (the days sort of flowed into each other to the extent that I'm not sure what we did on which day), we suddenly noticed a ball of black smoke rising from behind the wall of our complex. Being the curious creatures that we are, we hoofed it over to the wall (a mere 3 metres or so) where we saw the last thing we imagined - a burning car! A burning car on the road? Is that so strange you may ask...why...yes. It was quite strange since there was no crash, no explosion, no bang - no anything. The car was standing close to the curb as if it had pulled up there and spontaneously combusted into bright orange flames. Within about 5 minutes the entire car (an Opel Astra) had burnt out and we were treated to intermittent popping sounds as the tyres exploded one by one. Quite frightening since we all watch too much TV and were waiting for the petrol tank to blow. It didn't. I think one of the neighbours managed to get a photo - I'll ask him if he can send it to me.

Other than that we went to braai at Nic's house for the first time. He is lead singer of Feedback. Nic and his wife have an amazing house and beautiful pets. They have two Great Danes. One is an albino and is white with blue eyes. The other one looks a bit like a cow as he is white with black patches. They also have two cats - fluffy cute kitties that you want to hug! Both Rudi and I enjoyed it very much...although...Rudi was already drunk by the time he got there (that means it was Saturday because he went to play darts) and he ended up in the pool. It wasn't that hot, so we assume it was just driven by the drunkenness and craziness that accompanies that.

Brad and Sarah were away the whole weekend. They are actually still away - they went to Bloemfontein to visit Sarah's family. They are probably having loads of fun, but we miss them. There's a gap in the neighbourhood get togethers when they are not there. They'll be coming back on Wednesday...I can't wait to hear all the stories about what they got up to.

Is it wrong that I was just at home for 4 days and I can't wait to stay home again?

I finally bought a bee sting for my car. I've been meaning to do this forever, but kept putting it off. All in all it cost over R300 for the aerial and the installation, but it was worth it! I now have crystal clear radio reception and I can listen to people talk kak whenever I please.

Photos as promised

Voldemort and Boogaloo forgot to bring their camera, despite the reminders I gave them. I did, however, manage to snap a few pics with my crappy phone.

Rudi and Trevlyn

A sparkler in his food as promised! The waiters sang for him too!

Amber has found a new spot on the stairs that she likes to occupy.

Peter and I...Don't we look fabulous?

She's just loving this step. I can't explain it.

I hope you like th pictures :)

I can't wrap my head around it

There is one problem in my life that is solvable, but I cannot seem to solve it. Other people solve this problem. I wouldn't say that this problem is solved with ease, because it takes dedication, motivation, commitment and hard work. I have given up fighting the battle of the bulge.

I will sulk. I will be self deprecating. I will eat to comfort myself - completely defeating the object, but I do not change. It is a decision that I need to make. A decision only I can make. A decision I refuse to face?

Oh people have tried helping me. I have tried helping me. Nothing has worked thus far. Each time the weight just comes back and brings friends. Sound like the same old story? I suppose it is.

I have managed to be successful at other things. I have managed to greatly reduce my debt, climb the corporate ladder (even if I only climbed one or two rungs), increase my salary, have a successful relationship and become independant. I'm not a social retard. In fact, I'm not retarded.

It's so simple. It is HORRIFYINGLY simple. Stop putting the wrong things in your mouth. That is a wonderful start. Already now the road to my goal (not an unrealistic one) is SO long that I give up before I take the first step. Yes, I know...the journey of a 1000 miles starts with one step. With each day, week, month, year I put this off the road gets longer.

I want to be FIXED! Maybe I should just have my jaw wired shut and be done with it.

I envy people that don't have this problem (who doesn't envy those people?!). The truth is a lot of slim people work very hard to stay that way. Some don't, of course. Sometimes I even become blind and stupid enough to think "What could SHE possibly be worried about? Look at her!". OF COURSE she has problems. Maybe her problems are bigger than mine. Maybe her life is worse than mine. At least she's THIN.

I honestly think that my life would GREATLY improve if I was of lesser weight, but I don't seem to get there. I don't know HOW to get there. Oh...you know...."change your lifestyle!". Yeah OK...let's....and it never happens.

What is a girl to do? Can you look up jaw wiring in the yellow pages?

UPDATE

I was watching Oprah yesterday and Dr. Oz was on. A middle age couple that were overweight and miserable inspired me to change my mindset. I might be coping with my condition right now, I might be OK, but how am I going to feel in 10 years? How many aches and pains am I going to have. How many of my organs are going to pack up by the time I'm 40?

Life decisions need to be made here. Most certainly.

Rudi's Birthday

I've recently discovered Bloglines and other types of RSS feeds. What a pleasure. I've always struggled to keep up with blog posts and to keep all the blogs I like bookmarked is a mission. Feedburner has made me wise to these things since I've started my new blog. Nothing would be cooler than to have hundreds of subscribers, but that's just not going to happen. That only happens to the likes of Peas. Is it because she's a journalist and writes well? Is it because she's funny? Maybe it's because she always has interesting things to write about.

Anyhoo...I've neatly put all the blogs I like into my Bloglines feed and I immediately know when something new is posted. It's wonderful. You can subscribe to my blog by clicking on the animated button on the right (the one that flashes the 'headlines' on my blog). You can subscribe in almost any reader, then you'll always know when I've posted :)

Other than that the application I need to work on is still messed up (since yesterday) with no estimated time for resolution or even an indication that the developers know what the problem is. What ever happened to pre-production testing? Seriously? These developers get paid tons of money for applications that they stuff up causing a ripple effect to everyone that uses it. Do they get penalised? I wonder. Having to work around their incompetence is really frustrating. I suppose this is the part where I need to step up, be flexible and show how I cope under pressure. Quit my whining? Sure.

It's Rudi's birthday today. At first he didn't want to do anything this evening - he wanted to go out on Friday night, but he changed his mind after Boogaloo called him. Boogaloo asked what we were doing to celebrate and since it was coming from someone other than me he felt it was a good idea. What he didn't know is that he was blowing to hell a secret plan for his mother and father to come and drink tea this evening while delivering his gift. His mother called me last night to conspire. She was going to ignore his birthday all day and surprise him this evening. I called his mother to let her know that he had changed his mind and proceeded to tell her about her son's clothing preferences, without realizing she's his mother, who would know better? They opted not to join us for supper, but she said she would deliver his gift before we leave. Rudi promptly decided to phone his mother and kak her out for not wishing him yet. I assume this was the desired reaction.

I'm looking forward to going out with Boogaloo and Voldemort tonight. We haven't all spent time together for a while and it should lots of fun with stimulating conversion and speculation about whether we are heading for a recession or not. Good times.

We'll also certainly make the waiters sing for Rudi. All the waiters in the restaurant will come and clap and sing their special 'birthday song' attracting the attention of all the other patrons and generally embarassing the target of their jubilance. They also put a sparkler in his food. I can't wait.

I've requested that Voldemort brings his fancy new camera to take pictures for my blog...hope he remembers.

IT - Ignoramus Totallus

Dear IT department

I guess you think it's funny to sneak in on a Sunday evening and mess up the application that I need to work on on Monday morning. This is the second time this month that you have decided that my Monday is going to be a shambles. Are you kidding me?

You have, however, made me realize that being able to come in and actually do what I'm expected to do is a pleasure. Sitting here with my hands tied, feeling frustrated, isn't.

I also realize that you are getting paid double to come in and tinker and throw spanners in the works, this I don't find amusing at all. You should get half of minimum wage for what you are doing.

You're probably sitting somewhere snickering right now thinking "Ha! You think you're so cool because you get 4 bonus' a year...but look now...who has the POWER now? Every hour I have you sitting there with your finger up your bum your bonus is dwindling! Revenge is sweet!".

Suck my balls Mr. IT man. Suck my balls.

P.S. At least unblock facebook while you have me here being unproductive anyway.

Bad Vibes

Pictured to the left is (Uncle) Steve. He thought it would be fun to try on Sarah's leopard print sunglasses. I'm glad I managed to catch it...it was classic! Speaking of (Uncle) Steve, he actually faded quite early last night. He's struggling to keep up with the young ones somewhat, but certainly enjoying the time he is spending with us.

Rudi was still playing darts when I went home yesterday. He'd had his fair share of brandy...which didn't bode well. I really should have known better than to...well mention what I mentioned when he'd had Richelieu.

He went over to Crack Head's house which always manages to make my blood boil. I should have left it till this morning though. What a scene...

For some reason Rudi thinks I have a thing for our neighbour. I really don't. He is a really nice guy, but I'm just not into him. He's recently acquired a girlfriend who I get along well with and like very much. I'm really happy for both of them. Rudi still can't seem to shake this feeling though and he saw fit to take it out on me last night. It's just so pointless, the more I tell him there's NOTHING going on, the more he insists that I did or said something to the contrary.

I ran into said neighbour and his girlfriend on the way to work this morning and they invited me over when I come home from work, but I already told Rudi last night repeatedly that I wouldn't visit there if he so clearly had a problem with it. I was kind of non committal to the neighbour so we'll see what happens later today.

I just hope Rudi has snapped out of it though because I'm SO not in the mood for a bad vibes kind of day.

Phuza Saturday

I'm seriously bummed to be working this weekend, but I guess it's best since that means I'll be off next weekend (which is a long weekend here in South Africa).

We had a braai last night at Riaan's place and that went in the general direction that it always goes...meaning I was wasted (again). It was not fun getting up this morning.

Work is not too bad so far (touch wood), at least I was up early enough this morning to hear Nic's band (Feedback) debuting on the 5FM (a South African radio station). It was really cool, especially since they made a turn at the braai last night - now they're on the radio. Imagine that!

So just slightly hung over this morning...but coping.

Bad Friday

I'm having what is commonly referred to as a 'data bundle' day where I work. I'm getting a lot of these queries today and they are generally notorious for being the worst kind of query. The customers that send through these kind of queries are often demanding and unreasonable. They don't take no for an answer and don't accept explanations. They will argue with you until you can't argue anymore. I have three of these queries sitting waiting for me right now. I'm working around them. Postponing the inevitable. Flitting around them, avoiding them until I have no choice but to call these customers and listen to their accusing tones.

The way customer's treat me affects me. I know I should let it roll off me, but it doesn't. I don't like being accused, held accountable, shouted at or threatened. I suppose nobody does. I take all the abuse because it's my job, but I can't stand it when people don't understand that they are speaking to a PERSON, not a computer. I can't be held responsible for business rules I didn't make or terms and conditions that I didn't write. Also, some people think that if you shout and are rude you are going to get what you want. I know for a fact that people who are treated with respect are more willing to help you than people who feel intimidated. I suppose a lot of people are just inarticulate.

There are other ways to bring across your frustrations. There are other ways of venting your anger. Stooping to petty name calling and exasperated shouting isn't going to get you anywhere. You can be calm, friendly AND firm. It is possible.

Be a nice customer. You might be surprised every now and then how far someone is willing to go to give you what YOU want.

Deflated Ego

I'm demotivated to write since it doesn't seem like anyone is actually reading.

I am facing this internal struggle. Am I writing for an audience or am I writing for myself? I love having reference to the past online...at my fingertips so that I can reflect and sometimes put the present into perspective. So I guess I shouldn't care about whether anyone ELSE is reading. I suppose it's the egotistical Leo in me that wants attention, comments, compassion, praise and whatever else I've got coming to me.

I know I can have problems with not feeling sorry for myself - sometimes I feel like I'm having a crappy time and it's really handy to go back and check where I was 6 months ago or a year ago. I usually find that my life has improved and that I am doing much better. Then I get to kick myself in the ass and tell myself to stop being an ungrateful brat - because I'm a masochist.

So for everyone not out there, thanks for reading - you lurking trolls!

2 cents

I've gotten the layout more or less like I want it. I would appreciate some comments or feedback on the look and feel.

Let me know if you like it, or not. Feel free to make suggestions.

Come to think of it....I haven't had 1 comment since I've started this blog.

Anyone there? *knocks*

Welcome Back, Old Friend

We went to The Mount (the restaurant where our wedding reception was held) on Friday evening with Leeza. We had delicious food. Rudi and I ate steak while Leeza had the pork neck. The best was the dessert though. Leeza and I shared a Toblerone fruit fondue. YUM! The photos are really dark...sorry about that. I really have to get myself a decent camera and not take pictures with my phone so much!




On Saturday I went to Nadia's kitchen tea. Being a kitchen tea (Bridal Shower) I assumed it would be...tame and we would be outta there in no time, we also already had a braai planned for the evening so I didn't plan on staying too long.

Boy was I wrong! It turned into quite a party! For entertainment a company called 'A pole lot of fun' was brought in. They set up a pole in the bride-to-be's living room and a lady from the company instructed a few of the girls on how to pole dance. It was good clean fun.
I lost count of the number of drinks I had. All I remember is that there was wine (big mistake), sambuca (BIG mistake) and apple sours (not SUCH a big mistake) and that I had all of the above...more than once.

Rudi couldn't believe how snotters I was when he came to fetch me...but decided that he should have a couple of shots to catch up.

By the time we got to the neighbourhood braai I'd already 'thrown my name away' and continued to do so amongst our friends.

Luckily our friends were just as drunk (see picture above, this is how I found my neighbour's car parked the next morning) and they're generally not judgemental.

Now, to come back to the heading of today's post.

Last month I stopped taking my birth control and I have noted changes in myself over the last couple of days. My appetite for food has decreased, which can never be a bad thing. I would, however, like to welcome back my old friend, Libido.

I have at times missed Libido, but never attributed the absence of this old friend to the presence of The Pill. Rudi thinks it's Christmas...he can't believe his luck. I have no problem showering him with 'gifts' right now.

Since yesterday evening I have been really sore though. Let's just say that everything that makes me a woman hurts today. I feel horrible, but I'm sure it will pass.

I think I've finally recovered from Saturday night's hangover. I was still feeling it yesterday, but I can't wait to go home and crawl into bed.

I guess I have to go and earn my keep now. I would wish this week away, but I'm working this weekend anyway - so that wouldn't even help.

*YAWN*

Under Construction

I intend to post about the weekend as soon as I get the photos I took uploaded (nothing to get excited about...).

Please excuse the look of the blog right now...It's under construction. I'm trying to get things just right...but clearly I'm struggling a bit.

Thank you for your patience :oP

(Uncle) Steve

I wanted to write about (Uncle) Steve because he is such a classic character in my life right now. Let the record state that (Uncle) Steve is ancient and I can't HELP but to call him uncle, yet he can't stand it. Sometimes we just call him Oom or Oom Steve. It seems as though none of us can shake the habit of addressing him as uncle.

(Uncle) Steve has impeccable manners. He stands up when a lady enters or leaves the room. He believes in paying you compliments - only if he feels you really deserve them. He has a good time with us and keeps us entertained for ages telling us stories from his life.

He's definitely a colourful character. He has lived such a full life and has wonderful stories to tell. Wonderfully exciting stories. If you connect the dots between his stories you can figure out that he was once part of the Andre Stander gang. One of those who was arrested for armed robbery - that makes for some good story telling!

Unfortunately (Uncle) Steve is ill. He has stomach cancer. They've removed the tumours, but the cancer is back. They wanted to burn it or something and he refused treatment. Apparently he only has a few months left to live.

This is why I have decided to dedicate this post to (Uncle) Steve and his memory - whilst alive, so that I don't ever forget him.

I will most likely refer to (Uncle) Steve again sometimes and perhaps even relate one of his stories that was particularly funny or interesting. The other day he spoke about the death of Elvis...and it dawned on me that he was actually alive when that happened.

I wonder how old he really is...I should ask him.

Do you have a character in your life that deserves a posting?

Frustrated much?

I've been tinkering on my blog all day. Not that I've achieved much. The one thing that I want to do (changing my header to the same header I used on my old blog) - I'm not able to. HTML programming isn't my strong point.

The reason I suddenly have so much time on my hands? Our applications at work have been offline since I arrived, since before that actually. So here I sit with my head up my ass. I would much rather be lying with my head up my ass at home, preferably snoozing.

It's really frustrating as there are one or two people who are able to work, but they cannot cope with the entire department's work load. The backlog this problem is creating is detrimental to our performance as well. Sure, they'll be meant to exclude us...but sometimes it becomes impossible to determine whether or not they have.

I had an urge to take the book I'm reading this morning [The Dark Tower: The Waste Lands by Stephen King] and decided against it since I wouldn't have time to read at work. Now I have nothing but time and I regret my hasty decision.

*sigh*

I've read all the blogs...done everything I can (even cleaned up my inbox) and now I'm falling asleep, trying hard not to drool on my keyboard.

Ugh. What a waste.

Spier

We went to Spier wine farm near Stellenbosch last night. We went to the restaurant there called 'Moyo'. It's really awesome there. The setting and atmosphere were incredible. We had some cocktails and sat in the lounge area chilling. When it got too chilly we were brought blankets to keep us warm. We also had our faces painted. We got in really late though and my alarm didn't go off this morning, so I'm a little wasted. Check it out:

Some of the lights there, they're star shaped in case you can't tell

Me with my face painted...all African like

Rudi wasn't too keen on the face painting, but he had a good time too.

Sarah and Cindy were up for the face painting

Good times

Sarah and I

It was good fun. Rudi wants to go to there to eat, but it is R198.00 a plate (drinks excluded). We're considering going there on Friday night - we have a dinner date with Leeza. We were initially going to go to the restaurant where our wedding reception was, but we'd love to try the food at Spier. So it will be R400.00 just for the food for Rudi and I. OUCH!

My Evil Mother is up to her old tricks again. Her and Coke Head have moved into my aunt's house. My aunt is an utter wreck. I saw her at church yesterday and I could see she wasn't well. I walked up to her and gave her a hug and she burst into tears. I've never seen her like that.

My Evil Mother phoned me this morning...to ask me what my problem is I guess. She was saying things like 'You go to church but you don't practice what you hear', 'Did you get permission from God to turn your back on your mother?', 'So people can't change?'; it's funny how she NEVER goes to church, but sees fit to preach to everyone around her about being compassionate - towards her of course. When I asked her about Coke Head making trouble by getting drunk and making a scene at my aunt's house she said 'So everyone is allowed to drink on a Friday night except him?'. Is she smoking crack? He is SUCH a loser. Who am I to judge though? She says she's changed, but I honestly haven't seen anything to substantiate her lies. Maybe if I do I'll consider speaking to her again. Gone and ruined my Monday morning she has. Balls.

If you're new to reading my blog and you're wondering about my history with My Evil Mother - there's a special category there for her. Check it out.

RUGBY!

My manager organized tickets for Rudi and I to go watch the rugby last night. It's the first time either of us has been to a live rugby match and it was lots of fun! We forgot to take money with though, so we didn't have any food or drink. We enjoyed it thoroughly. I took some pictures with my phone:

Waiting patiently for the game to begin...

This guy was running around shouting 'Fat free doughnuts!' - LIAR!!

A man that takes his rugby really seriously...nah...he just didn't know I was snapping a photo

The Stormers team warming up

The match in progress!

We really enjoyed the game, even though our team lost. We'll definitely do it again sometime and ensure that we get really good seats.

This is really a fun thing to do even if you're not a fanatic. I enjoyed the atmosphere and watching all the people...there are also a lot of pretty girls hanging around - not that I think you'd be able to pick anyone up there easily.

I would recommend that everyone do it at least once!