A little bit of everything

Yesterday was a pretty relaxed day. I overslept so I didn't make it to church. Instead I went back to sleep and we only woke up around 11:45. For us, that's super late! Somehow we end up waking up early on weekends as well. We hate it.

We went to a Portuguese pub called Guzzlers yesterday. An old colleague and friend of my grandfather's plays in a band and they were performing. I must say, for a bunch of old guys they are really good! They play a lot of old music, mostly by a band called 'The Shadows' and some Elvis stuff. After that we went to Uncle Dan and Auntie Mona and had some tea and cake.

The weekend slipped past me. I barely noticed that I was off. I can't wait to get some time off again. I've applied for some leave in January, but it hasn't been approved yet. Hopefully I'll be able to spend those few days with Rudi while he is on leave, although by that time we'll probably be completely broke!

Rudi went to purchase my vitamins for me yesterday. He bought a pregnancy vitamin, folic acid and an omega 3 & 6 supplement. It all cost only R130.00 which is really not bad. Medicine and vitamins can be really expensive. I'm already taking the pregnancy vitamin and folic acid to build up my store for when I fall pregnant again so that the next baby will have everything it needs from conception.

I wish I knew what was going on in my body now. I have strange pains and I'm not quite sure whether my body is still recovering from the previous pregnancy, or whether it's something else. I'm sure it still is. In four days it will be a month since we lost the baby. I'm not sure how long it takes for a uterus to migrate back down into the pelvis. The pain isn't unbearable or anything, it's just there and makes me conscious of those parts of me. I don't think it's necessary to see a doctor or anything. I wonder when I can expect my next cycle to start. Perhaps I should just give my doctor a call and ask him...although I hate doing that. I also need to call my insurance because I need to claim, but I keep putting it off.

I've been thinking about it and I think I know one of the reasons I've gone through what I've gone through. I never used to like children very much. I didn't mind them, but I wasn't overly fond of them and wasn't even sure if I wanted one. Since everything that has happened I have developed an immense compassion for children and the desire for one (or two). It used to tug at my heart strings when I saw children in need or in hospital, now it affects me. The other day on the news they showed a baby who was orphaned. His mother carried him over the border to South Africa (probably in search of a better life), but shortly after that died of cholera and the government was talking about sending the baby back to where it came from. It brought me to tears that the poor child had nobody to care for it or love it and was left all alone in the world. Before that story would just have been another story, now it is heartbreaking for me. Perhaps God wanted to soften my heart towards these defenseless children and wanted me to desire one so that I could appreciate the next one he sends me to the fullest.

My grandfather told me yesterday that he is very excited that we are trying again. He said he was afraid I would be put off after everything that happened. He promised me that he would look after the baby when I had to go back to work. I told him I really hope that we have the baby before him or my grandmother lose their marbles. He thought that was very funny (he has a strange sense of humour that one). We also spoke about other things. One of our retired District Apostles died recently. Everybody was saying how sad it was and my grandfather said he was happy for him. It seems slightly shocking, but he was 96 years old and really couldn't take care of himself. My grandfather said if he ever got to a stage where he could not live a full life anymore he would rather die. He said that if he was on life support he would want us to switch the machines off. Of course the thought of this devastates me because I so dearly love him and my grandmother and I really hope that if that time comes I will have the strength to honour his wishes and not be selfish about it.

Where is the week going?

Time has been flying this week. I've barely blinked and it's Wednesday again. The electricity was out again when I woke up this morning. It looks like our scheduled power cuts take place on Wednesday mornings between 6am and 8am. At least I had a lighter handy this morning to light some candles.

Nothing exciting happened over the weekend. I've managed to buy and wrap both wedding gifts for next weekend. I'm quite satisfied with how they look. I bought lovely wrapping paper covered with red roses, a golden bow and a card for each couple. The price of cards is insane these days! It is something people keep though, so I guess it's an investment.

Speaking of which, a consultant came to see us yesterday. He assisted me in taking out policies when I was 18 and he came across my number again. He is going to try and sort Rudi out as well. It's a good thing because Rudi's employer does not have a pension plan and I've been thinking about getting him covered for some time.

I'm working this weekend as well, but I have applied for leave next Friday and the following Monday so that I might get some rest even with the two weddings and the District Apostle service.

I have found something I live for. I absolutely LOVE snuggling! There is nothing better than snuggling up to someone (well, ok, Rudi) and I am learning to appreciate it all over again. I suppose that might be because it's getting colder in the mornings and I'd rather snuggle than get out of bed!

My work is piling up, so I guess I need to get started on that.

And Breathe...

I had an impassioned choir practice last night. I felt moved, challenged and motivated.

We have an amazing choir leader. When he conducts he is filled with emotion and you can almost feel the music through his facial expressions alone. Before I joined the choir I enjoyed watching him immensely. It's a little more difficult to watch him now that I'm singing because I have a lot of other things to focus on. He also sings for very large choirs that sometimes travel abroad, so he brings a lot of experience to the table.

He teaches us how to breathe properly, how to 'support' so that we can reach higher notes and make them sound better. He understands the terms of the music and tries to stay true to the composer's wishes. He pushes ALL the right buttons to make you push yourself and to make you want to do better. He is strict, but he does it for the love of the music.

At choir practice last night I sang until I was dizzy. Literally dizzy from singing high notes and keeping them there for long. I was actually exhausted when I got home. Last night I developed a whole new respect for my grandmother. My grandmother is an amazing soprano. She was one of the first solo artists to be recorded on LP for our church. She was invited to sing at many, many weddings - to the extent that my grandfather stopped accompanying her because he was bored. She is well known amongst members of our church - she's kind of famous. Thinking of how I felt last night I can't imagine how hard she must have worked to achieve what she has achieved. I have always loved my grandmother for her kindness and her innocent way, but I have another reason to admire her now. What a woman!

We have a District Apostle service coming up in April and will be having 2 choir practices with this choir leader each week. *phew*, there's a lot of work ahead of me, but I can only get better at singing by doing this.

P.S. I should be posting photos of that car a little later today, my neighbour said he'd send them to me. I also have new pictures of the jasmine bush which is blossoming beautifully!

P.S.S. Looks like my neighbour left work before sending me the pictures. I'll sock him one tonight.