pregnancy week by week

Friday, 20 February 2009


Jane had a good point in the comment she left the other day. She said the names that I have for Rudi's friends are very negative. It's true, I can't deny it. Perhaps this assists in the perpetuation of my negative attitude towards them. So I have decided to rename them.

Crack Head scored MAJOR brownie points with me last night. He came to visit Rudi while I was at choir practice and when I got home I discovered a gift for me in the fridge. Lindor Chocolate balls. Absolutely my favourite and for some reason Rudi never got them for me on Valentine's Day as I requested. Now I have some. Don't worry, I didn't eat them. I'm saving them for a special occasion. Crack Head will hence forth be known as Lindor. He also bought me a tiny little cactus last time he visited. I'm not sure exactly why he comes bearing gifts since he seems to know now I have put my grudge aside, but I'm not going to question this practice or complain!

Now on to Boring Person (Male) and Boring Person (Female). This took me a long time to mull over in my head. Trying to come up with something creative and positive has proved to be quite a challenge. I thought about calling Boring Person (Male) Older Guy, but Lindor is around the same age so it just doesn't make sense. This isn't awfully creative, but I'm going to call him Fence. He has an Afrikaans name and the name kind of reminds me of the word 'fence' (translated). I think that is quite a neutral name. I neither love nor hate fences. Boring Person (Female) will now be known as Caregiver. She runs a creche and cares for quite a few children on a daily basis so I think the name is apt.

So now that nobody on my blog has a negative name anymore, other than My Evil Mother who I reserve the right to keep that way until she is no longer evil, I feel a little lighter.

Speaking of My Evil Mother. On Wednesday after church she called me aside, asked me to hold her hand and said something like 'No matter what happens and no matter what you or I say, I will always be your mother and these shoulders are always here for you'. RANDOM! Last night she called me at the last minute and asked to be picked up for choir practice. We had a little time to chat and I asked her why she made this random little speech. She then said 'I am your mother, I can sense things and I will always be there for you despite the fact that you aren't there for me'
'Like when?'
'Like when I went through my divorce, but it's fine.'
I didn't even get into it with her. I kind of feel like one is asking for divorce when you are cheating on your spouse. I don't know why you would expect a different result and I don't recall her being there for me all that much after we lost our son. Sure she came to the hospital and was there the day he was born and died and she went to look at him for me and take photos, but she wasn't there after that or before that when I was going through a very hard time. Being there for one day while all the drama of the weeks before come to a head and then not being there afterwards doesn't cut it in my book. But I didn't get into it with her. She says she's divorcing her current husband. This is not the first time she has said this. They've been married for four months. I am not sure if she will divorce him, although I don't see any benefit to staying with him.

I called my grandparents and found out that my grandmother had told her that Rudi and I were having problems (this is obviously how she 'senses things' as my mother). I kind of knew that would have been her source. I wish she would learn that I am not as gullible as she thinks.


T. said...

Aww the boys are reaching out to you :D

It's a great idea to rename them, your blog instantly sounds lighter ;)

I do recognize the mother thing, mothers wont change I'm afraid, you can just be a better one yourself. In my case, well, maybe I wont be a mother ever.. nvm :P

AngelConradie said...

i rather like the renaming idea!
your mom is trying a little bit... no?

acidicice said...

Tim - you need to learn to focus and not let your imagination take you everywhere <3
angel - thanks, it was born from Jane's comment a couple of days ago as I said. I can't always take credit for brilliance. I am very weary of My Evil Mother as she is nearly never well intentioned and always operates with a hidden agenda. I will not be fooled by her again!

Anonymous said...

Your mother certainly does sound evil. Nice job of renaming people on here, though. I can't decide whether Lindor or Fence is my favourite.

acidicice said...

oinkoinkoink - She can be! You let me know when you pick a favourite!

Wenchy said...

Let's not change the mom's name just yet... i'm not 'sensing' it

acidicice said...

Totally, Wenchy. We have a LOT of work to do on our relationship and she needs to regain my trust which is going to take a very long time and a lot of hard work.

She has her own things to sort out right now. I think she needs to do that before she can concentrate on our relationship.

Jay said...

i've been reading your blog FOREVER and Evil Mother will stay, i've laughed and cried on this blog...keep it up and i like Fence...took me a while to find the afrikaans translation though.

acidicice said...

I'm glad you guys have my back on this Evil Mother thing!

Anonymous said...

Love the new names - and anyone who brings me chocolate is a superstar in my books, that's a big plus. :-)

I have been lucky enough to have a very good relationship with my mother - but my dad and I have always had a tricky relationship. He spent most of my childhood drinking, and when he eventually stopped and 'came right' I was an adult and we hardly knew each other at all.

Things are slowly getting easier, but he has never really felt like a 'real' dad. Just someone I've starting to get to know.

Your mom may never change, but as Tim said, you can just aim to be the best mother you can be - and you will be! It's that old pain in the butt time... it does eventually heal everything. :-)