Bad memories

I remember lying on the bed at the gynae, really eager to find out the sex of our baby. I remember my blood running cold.

What's wrong, mommy?

I remember frantically crying in the toilet at the specialist's office...begging out loud that nothing be wrong with our baby.

Why is mommy crying?

I remember how hard it was. How conflicted I was. Waking up in the middle of the night in tears.

Why is mommy upset all the time?

I remember how difficult it was to start taking the tablets to induce labour.

What's happening, mommy?

I remember the whole painful experience. Every detail of it.

Why am I dying, mommy?

*has a big cry*