My Evil Mother and Grandfather updates

So. Great news! My grandfather's colon is cancer free. He is so elated by this news that he is even considering another round of chemo instead of the operation on his liver. The chemo will make him very ill, but he feels he will still be able to work when he is having chemo whereas he will be off work for a full month if he has the operation to remove the cancer from his liver. He'll be seeing a specialist in about a week to discuss his options and take things from there.

I took them out to dinner last night to celebrate his health, their 47 year wedding anniversary, his birthday (which is on the 13th of June) and to thank him for looking after Amber while we were away. We had a nice quiet dinner. It was lovely.

My Evil Mother is up to her old tricks. Her husband let it slip that my aunt could afford to 'lose her pension' as she works from home. Just goes to show what they must have been scheming about. My aunt's pension, which she worked hard for. My Evil Mother is still living with my aunt and uncle, although her husband was kicked out after one too many drunken tantrums at all hours of the morning. She tried to get him back in with promises of money (seeing as how they don't pay rent or contribute in any way) and some luxury food items. Luckily, for once, my uncle stood firm and kept by his decision. My Evil Mother has been hell to live with ever since. Rudi could not believe the way My Evil Mother spoke to my uncle in his own house. If My Evil Mother is really that desperate to be with her husband, then she should go and stay with him and his mother. My Evil Mother has told us horror stories of how his mother is evil and how she is an alcoholic. I think the actual story is that she is much more demanding about incoming contributions and them pulling their weight than my aunt and uncle are.

My Evil Mother *loves* throwing our religion/beliefs in our faces. She'll often say things like 'God doesn't sleep' - she seems totally oblivious to the fact that the same applies to her. Sometimes it's funny, but for people like my grandfather and my uncle who both hold ministries within the church the guilt trip she takes them along for is often effective. Last Wednesday in church she went as far as to keep her communion wafer and to shove it in my uncle's hand after church saying 'You need it more than I do'. I cracked up when I heard this. I'm actually quite sure my uncle - who was giving her a lift home from church at the time, the selfish bastard - might have cracked up also. He has a good sense of humour. My grandparents on the other hand, didn't think it was funny.

It is beyond me that My Evil Mother is still a free woman. The amount of fraud she has committed...and I'm only aware of a portion of it...must be substantial. Her ethics have always come in to question where she was employed. Just recently she went to work for a company. She had been there for less than a week and was given the company credit card to buy coffee, tea and a few other office supplies. She ended up spending R2500.00 and buying clothes and shoes for her husband. WHO DOES THAT?!

Did I ever tell you that she faked her suicide once because I refused to draw R500.00 and 'lend' it to her? This was before my eyes opened to her ways and I was in a total panic. I even phoned the police. She came home with a total BS story that didn't even make sense about how she had parked her car on the side of one of the national roads and put a pipe from the exhaust into the window (nothing blocking the open gaps in the window to prevent ventilation - DUH), she also claimed the pipe and everything were already in the car. Some 'valiant' man pulled over, took her to hospital and paid the bill apparently. What a load of bull.

Anyway...

I'm working in another portfolio today. I hate this portfolio. More often than not the feedback I have to give customers is negative and they usually get angry. It's not a nice way to spend a day. I'm the only one in my team who hasn't had a turn yet, so by default I have to go over today. Suck!

Dark clouds and illness

I spent the entire day alone yesterday for the first time since we found out that there was something wrong with our baby. It wasn't easy. I broke down at some point and felt like the walls were closing in. I wanted to run. Instead I took a shower, washed and dried my hair. I still didn't feel better, but fell asleep. Sleep is a wonderful escape. Now that my hormones are not going crazy I'm not dreaming so much anymore. I'm sure the sleeping pills the doctor gave me aren't hurting either.

I think I have a cold or the flu or something. My throat has been extremely sore since Sunday, I've been coughing, my ears are blocked and sore and my nose is blocked. Luckily I am already booked off work, but I wish that could focus this time on mourning and grieving instead of focusing on all these physical issues. Maybe my emotions are manifesting themselves physically, since the gravity of everything hit me on Saturday for the first time. I know that happens with Rudi.

Our church is having a family day at Ratanga Junction on Saturday. Rudi has never been and begged me to get tickets. He wanted to go while he was on leave at the end of the year and I would have had to stay home. I'm pretty sure pregnant ladies aren't allowed to go on all those rides...but now I can go with him. I'm just hoping that I feel better by that time and that I'm not still sick.

My cousin, Carmie arrives from London on Saturday for her yearly visit home. I'm excited to see her. While she was in South Africa we didn't see much of each other, but somehow since she's left to live and work overseas I want to see more of her. Always wanting what I can't have I guess. My goodness I'm dying for something sweet to eat...

I better start getting ready. My grandfather has gone for his chemo drip again today and he's picking me up on his way home. He's been dreading it for days. I wish there was something I could do to help him feel better. I suppose I can only spend time with him and let him know I'm there if he needs me <3

Speaking of love, I love my husband now more than I ever have. This whole thing has brought us closer together and opened up a new level of communication for us. I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.

Antibiotics

I woke up with swollen glands this morning. First thought that Rudi had somehow hit me in his sleep, but later I figured out my glands are really sore.

After chatting to my grandfather and seeing a sister I decided to go to the doctor. The doctor prescribed some antibiotics that are safe to take during pregnancy.

My grandfather seems to be doing OK after the chemo so far. He feels tired, but other than that he is OK. He says he won't be able to work for 5 months due to the side effects of the chemo. I don't know what they are going to do for money. He gets a small pension, but that won't cover their rent, bills and food. We're going to have to try and help them out as much as possible.

My Evil Mother has lost her job again. SURPRISE! "Rentrenchement" again. Funny how she gets retrenched every second job. I'm curious to know how many she's had in the past two years. We estimate around 20. According to her she's never done anything wrong. It's either they company goes down, they retrench or the boss doesn't like her or the boss is sexually harassing her. It's hard to make up a different excuse every time. I wonder if she thinks we are too stupid to notice she's repeating the same ones over.

I better go. Rudi will be picking me up any minute.

At Home

I'm at home at the moment. I went to work on Monday and I felt I couldn't cope with the morning sickness and working. I took leave for the rest of the week. I'm already on leave on Monday as I have my next gynae appointment by then. My breasts are REALLY sore too. Especially after I've showered. If the towel even brushes against them I want to cry.

It's nice being at home resting. Somehow I feel a little guilty. I wish a doctor would have booked me off instead of me having to use leave, but I don't feel like paying for another doctor's appointment. My medical aid is already running low and I know I have to go for more gynae appointments this year and at least one foetal assessment as well. Not only that, my doctor is a real man's man. I think he'll think I'm being a wuss and tell me to suck it up. Last year when I had measles he let me suffer with my symptoms for 3 days without medication because he wanted them to develop so he could check whether or not it really was german measles. He's probably just tell me that millions of women go through this and I should stop being a baby. Don't get me wrong, he's a great doctor...but not the most sympathetic man. I'll discuss how I'm feeling with my gynae on Monday.

My grandfather goes for his first chemo session today. I must call him to see how he is doing. He is anticipating the worst, as anyone probably would.

OH! Joke of the century. My Evil Mother phoned me yesterday, cooing over me. Of course, she wanted something. She asked me if she and Coke Head could get married at our house. She's never even seen our house. She doesn't know where we live (and I'd like to keep it that way). When I told her that she doesn't even know how it looks, she said "I know it will be beautiful because it's your house". So I told her we don't have a garden or anything. She said she 'wants me to be part of it'. Pfft. What a load of shit. I told her that I would be a part of it wherever she held it. She's told so many people that she doesn't care about Coke Head. She says she's just using him. Her 'excuse' for wanting to marry him now is that she is 'living in sin' and she is trying to get herself ready of the day of the Lord. This woman has SERIOUS mental issues man. She needs help. We've all tried helping her, but she refuses to believe she has a problem. I wish Dr. Phil lived in South Africa. He'd call her out on all her bullshit. This will be marriage number 3 for her. Clearly heading for disaster. She is an adult though and nobody can make decisions on her behalf. Unfortunately. Her and Coke Head and still sponging off my aunt and uncle for pete's sake! They can't even get their act together enough to get a place of their own! Not even a bachelor flat and they want to get MARRIED? Idiots.

My grandmother has told me that they want to appoint me the executor of their estate once they pass because I'm the only one that doesn't give in to her manipulation and deception. That's a big responsibility and I'll have to protect my aunt which is my grandparent's main concern. I'll have to do my best.

Other than that I've noticed that my skin seems to be deteriorating. I think my hormones are going crazy with this baby and it's making my skin look terrible.

Can anyone remind me when the fun part is again? Hopefully just a few more weeks and the morning sickness will be gone and I'll be 'glowing'. Hard to believe today. Apparently there are some raunchy times in the coming months...can't wait!

Good News

My grandfather’s operation went well. He doesn’t have a bag which is a huge bonus. The bad news is that the spots on his liver were caused by the cancer and he will need to have chemotherapy for 6 months. The doctor said that should clear everything up though. I don’t wish chemotherapy on my worst enemy. The way I understand it they literally pump poison into your body to kill the cancer and it makes you very sick. He is strong though. He will get through this. I’m just really happy that the operation went well. I was very nervous about him being under anaesthetic as he’s not young anymore and there can be complications.

I was feeling really rough last night. I was sore all over. My uterus feels like it’s blowing up. Apparently it’s the size of a grapefruit now and I can really say that I can feel there is something swollen beneath my skin. There’s no more denying it. Over and above the nausea I now FEEL pregnant. I really feel sorry for Rudi at times. I’m sure I bite his head off over trivial things and moan about him moving in bed next to me because I’m afraid I’ll throw up or my breasts are really sensitive. Good times.

I’m so tired of working it’s not funny. When I came in this morning I noticed I had 3 irate customers in my list. They can all really just kiss my ass. I’m not in the mood for know-it-all customers shouting and swearing at me and not taking “no” for an answer. The customer is not always right. Sometimes they are just downright unreasonable and full of crap. One of said customers is complaining about a product he doesn’t use and is singing the praises of our competitor. He’s not even really asking a question. So I should phone him and explain the business rules, etc. to him? Why? He doesn’t seem interested. On the other hand, this is my job and I get paid to do it. I think I get paid well to do it too. So I guess I should just be grateful I have a job which grants me opportunities that others cannot dream of.*

*This little bit of perspective came after me getting breakfast and mulling it over. I really should watch my mouth. I run it off in the heat of the moment.

Birthday and more

My birthday was boring. I didn’t do anything the whole day, but that was the plan. I was on leave and wanted to sleep late and do nothing. Rudi called in sick – but he spent half the day at the doctor. He is such a hypochondriac. Every time he goes to the doctor they send him to a specialist and they can’t find anything wrong with him. He’s starting to dislike doctors because he says there is definitely something wrong with him, even if they can’t find it.

We had two fights yesterday. I was angry at him for depleting the medical aid (which in all fairness, he does pay for too), but I’m going to need it a lot more than him with the baby on the way. Gynae appointments and scans and tests are all going to cost a lot of money.

The second fight was about him not buying me a gift for my birthday. Every year when I leave him to his own devices and I don’t make him go and buy me something, he doesn’t. He leaves it until it is my birthday and then he asks ‘So what do you want?’ It annoys me to no end because I feel like he doesn’t put any thought into it until the last minute. I’ve learnt my lesson about letting him pick gifts himself. He is not too bad at picking jewellery, but that is about it. Last year he wanted to buy me a single ticket to go and see a Pink concert. I like Pink, but definitely not enough to go on my own and not enough to want it as a birthday gift. I got him to buy me an expensive media player instead. Boogaloo contributed to that one a bit too. Eventually he stormed out and went to buy me a bottle of my favourite perfume (which I had run out of and told him to go and buy me).

Sarah and Brad came around last night. Sarah bought a cute set of baby clothes, but wrote me an I.O.U for my birthday gift. It was nice having them over, we hardly see them anymore.

My grandparents bought me a new pyjamas – it’s really pretty. My aunt bought me a set of plastic containers (don’t ask me why – because I haven’t figured it out yet, I have enough Tupperware for the whole family). Leeza stuck to our Harry Potter deal and bought me “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” and a ton of lollipops. Two other colleagues clubbed together and bought me a pretty silver chain with a butterfly pendant. I received more gifts than I expected which was great!

I feel horrible since this morning. I threw up bile this morning and I’m not sure if that taste just made me feel like crap, but I still feel yucky right now. I haven’t eaten anything, but my appetite is not all that. I’ve eaten lollipops this morning, but it hasn’t helped.

My grandfather is going into hospital today. His operation is tomorrow. They are taking him in today to prepare him for the op and to flush out his system. They located two dark spots on his liver which they will test for cancer after the operation – they are going to remove samples while he is under. There are also more areas of concern close to where they will be operating which they will also sample for testing. If any of the tests for the spots come back malignant he will go on chemotherapy for 6 months. I am very worried about him, but I try my best not to think about it. He simply has to make it. There’s no other way.

On a happy note Rudi and I have found a new place to stay. It’s a really nice place in Durbanville. It is also a flat, but it is 88 square metres which is bigger than our place now. It has a built in braai (BBQ) on the balcony, two bedrooms, a separate shower and bath and lots of cupboard space. We will be renting directly from the owner who is a really nice lady. We’ll be moving 31 August and I’ll post pictures once we’ve moved!

A cure?

My grandfather seems to be taking his illness rather lightly. The doctor has assured him that the success rate for the operation is really high and that he shouldn't worry. They are not yet sure whether he’ll need a bag or whether he’ll need to go for chemo. The doctors can only determine this once they’ve opened him up. I love my grandfather dearly and hope and pray that he will be OK.

I was feeling very ill yesterday. I got sick last night and again this morning. When I was getting sick this morning (of course with nothing in my stomach) Rudi commented from the room ‘Don’t force it, baby. If there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there!’ He doesn’t seem to realize that the dry heaving and gagging isn’t voluntary! If I had a choice I would much rather NOT be sick!

Due to the horrible nausea I haven’t been eating very well. I try to make healthy food choices. Yesterday I ate…an apple, banana, naartjie, and 3 rice cakes with Melrose and some salticrax with marmite. I couldn’t bear the sight or smell of food.

This morning I braved a bowl of cornflakes and bought a sour lollipop. The cornflakes were a bit hard to swallow, but I managed it. I then ate the sour lollipop and VOILA! I feel a ton better. I bought all the sour lollipops in the canteen. If this is my cure for morning sickness – bring it on!