Ambition

Wow! I am loving the new building! Yesterday felt like a mini reunion - I saw people that had moved on to different divisions (therefore different locations) that I haven't seen for years! The same thing happened this morning. I didn't even know these people still worked for The Company.

The way I was greeted made me feel very special. It made me feel like I had made an impact on the lives of these people that time could not diminish. I wouldn't say I changed their lives or anything, but they remember me fondly. That certainly is a great feeling.

The system at work was up and down constantly yesterday. It was frustrating to say the least, but it was fun just sitting around chatting with some of the people here.

I'm a bit annoyed with the team I am a part of at work. Since only half of us moved to the new building it was almost as if the team was divided. There was an 'us against them' kind of vibe which was just childish. I hope they are over it now. Everybody should be moved over to the new building by today or tomorrow and then they will need to talk crap about us to our faces.

I was telling a friend yesterday that I feel stuck in my body. I feel like I have such a long road to reaching any kind of goal weight, but they say that every journey begins with a single step. I am afraid to take the first step on a journey that I have started so many times and failed to complete. I don't know if I can fail again. I don't know if I can let myself down again - although I suppose I'm letting myself down by staying this way. I've been standing at this cross roads for a long time. I'm just waiting for myself to lurch forward, eyes closed - fearing the worst. This is one thing that is very difficult for me to be positive about.

*sigh*