2009 is hurtling towards us at an alarming speed. It will be Christmas the day after tomorrow. I'm already celebrating Christmas with my family tomorrow. I've started making the trifle already. The ingredients cost R260.00! Oh my hat!
I'm feeling a little fragile at the moment. I find sentimental things bringing me to tears. Things that remind me of James are making me cry. I'm trying so hard to be positive and enjoy the festive season, but sometimes I am reminded of it and I feel like breaking down. Don't get me wrong, I'm not moping around or anything...and I know I'm entitled to feel sad and I'm allowed to cry, but I don't want to be unhappy this Christmas. Maybe it's because everyone else seems so happy that I feel slightly depressed. It's almost as if everyone has forgotten my pain (which I'm sure they haven't) and have carried on and are happy regardless (which they are also entitled to be). I cannot begrudge anyone their happiness at this time of year...but I hope they understand when I seem unhappy.
I've just realized that I have a huge analysis to do for work that is due the 29th...which means...today is actually my last day to do it. CRAP!
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Monday, 22 December 2008
Crazy time
When I got into work this morning I was feeling really grim. I was upset and moody and depressed. Perfect week for this kind of cheer.
I usually work from 7am - 4pm. This week I was suckered into working 9am - 6pm. Any other week I would have worked around it and not complained much, but the way in which it came about made me mad. We only require one staff member to work the 9 - 6 shift. Last week two team members worked the shift (unnecessarily) so that they would be able to say they've 'had their turn' when it came to the week before Christmas and would wash their hands of the shift. They're both guys by the way. I have so much preparation to do for Christmas and family are making demands on my time as well (I'm sure other women can relate). How on earth am I supposed to get done if I only get home from work at almost 7pm?! I still have to collect gifts from family members, do My Evil Mother's hair for her and go and buy stuff for the trifle I have to make! *panics*
Finally I spoke to Jubba (he's been in a festive mood for around a week now, it's lovely) and he said it's not necessary for me to work this shift this work, so I'll be reverting back to 7 - 4 tomorrow. I'm overjoyed!(It's only 3 days anyway)
I'm feeling a bit down and frustrated today. I get frazzled like this when I'm stressed out, but things usually work out for the best.
I think I might feel a bit down since Rudi and I were supposed to start trying to get pregnant already and we just haven't gotten around to it. There is probably still time, but there's such a small window you have to squeeze through to get pregnant and I don't want to accidentally 'miss it'. That being said...I said I wouldn't rush things and have no idea when I ovulate anyway. We thought we'd just try every second day and see what happens. Just got to get started!
At least I can drink to relieve my tension!
I usually work from 7am - 4pm. This week I was suckered into working 9am - 6pm. Any other week I would have worked around it and not complained much, but the way in which it came about made me mad. We only require one staff member to work the 9 - 6 shift. Last week two team members worked the shift (unnecessarily) so that they would be able to say they've 'had their turn' when it came to the week before Christmas and would wash their hands of the shift. They're both guys by the way. I have so much preparation to do for Christmas and family are making demands on my time as well (I'm sure other women can relate). How on earth am I supposed to get done if I only get home from work at almost 7pm?! I still have to collect gifts from family members, do My Evil Mother's hair for her and go and buy stuff for the trifle I have to make! *panics*
Finally I spoke to Jubba (he's been in a festive mood for around a week now, it's lovely) and he said it's not necessary for me to work this shift this work, so I'll be reverting back to 7 - 4 tomorrow. I'm overjoyed!(It's only 3 days anyway)
I'm feeling a bit down and frustrated today. I get frazzled like this when I'm stressed out, but things usually work out for the best.
I think I might feel a bit down since Rudi and I were supposed to start trying to get pregnant already and we just haven't gotten around to it. There is probably still time, but there's such a small window you have to squeeze through to get pregnant and I don't want to accidentally 'miss it'. That being said...I said I wouldn't rush things and have no idea when I ovulate anyway. We thought we'd just try every second day and see what happens. Just got to get started!
At least I can drink to relieve my tension!
Tuesday, 02 December 2008
Christmas is sneaking up on us...
A colleague of mine told me this morning her doctor told her it takes 6 weeks for your body to recover from a pregnancy. So I can only assume that my uterus is aching because it's squeezing back into my pelvis. I wish I could tell it not to bother since I'm hoping it will move back up again soon! (Sorry guy readers, if there are any of you. I'm sure you just love hearing about my uterus)
Rudi seems to be hell bent on my uterus migrating upwards as well. Either that or he is eating oysters on the sly. He has been really frisky of late...I almost want to tell him to save it for when the time is right...but I'm not even sure when that is, so I might as well enjoy indulging him.
My grandfather has decided he wants a denim shirt for Christmas. I really hope I can find one for him. It's difficult finding something that isn't exactly in fashion. I'm going to buy my grandmother the floorwiz mop. She still uses an old spaghetti mop and it's really bad for her back which she already needs further surgery on (which she refuses to go for). My grandfather promised to help her mop the floors if she has a decent mop.
My landlady has left colour samples in our post box (I only received the mail this morning, so I haven't seen them yet) and is sending someone out to do a quotation tomorrow while the housekeeper is there. I can't wait to see the colours she has chosen. I hope these quotations mean they're coming to paint soon!
I better pull finger and go and work!
Rudi seems to be hell bent on my uterus migrating upwards as well. Either that or he is eating oysters on the sly. He has been really frisky of late...I almost want to tell him to save it for when the time is right...but I'm not even sure when that is, so I might as well enjoy indulging him.
My grandfather has decided he wants a denim shirt for Christmas. I really hope I can find one for him. It's difficult finding something that isn't exactly in fashion. I'm going to buy my grandmother the floorwiz mop. She still uses an old spaghetti mop and it's really bad for her back which she already needs further surgery on (which she refuses to go for). My grandfather promised to help her mop the floors if she has a decent mop.
My landlady has left colour samples in our post box (I only received the mail this morning, so I haven't seen them yet) and is sending someone out to do a quotation tomorrow while the housekeeper is there. I can't wait to see the colours she has chosen. I hope these quotations mean they're coming to paint soon!
I better pull finger and go and work!
Monday, 24 November 2008
The other episode
I had another episode on Saturday night that I forgot to blog about. I was watching TV and the Clicks (a chain store here in South Africa) played their Christmas advertisement. Clicks always have huge Mother's Day and Father's Day campaigns and advertisements and I was suddenly reminded of how much I was looking forward to celebrating my first Mother's Day. Rudi and I were sitting on the couch and I just suddenly started bawling. The poor man couldn't understand what on earth was wrong and I can understand his confusion. I <3 Christmas and I had just seen a very Christmassy advertisement.
I explained to him why I was upset and he said that there is no reason why she shouldn't still celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day. He said that there is no reason for us to forget. I know that many, if not all of the mommies on My Parenting Community will agree with him, although somehow it still feels weird.
I still don't consider myself a mother, even though I acknowledge, miss and love the baby that I had. I suppose my definition of a 'mother' is different from other people's. I suppose my definition of a 'parent' is someone with a living child. That is not necessarily correct. The dictionary says:
mother [muhth-er]
–noun 1. a female parent.
2. (often initial capital letter) one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
4. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent.
and the dictionary definition of parent:
parent [pair-uhnt, par-]
–noun 1. a father or a mother.
2. an ancestor, precursor, or progenitor.
3. a source, origin, or cause.
4. a protector or guardian.
5. Biology. any organism that produces or generates another.
That doesn't really clear it up. Mother's Day comes before Father's Day usually. Can't wait to see what Rudi will do. I hope it won't be like my birthday...perhaps breakfast in bed and a last minute present after asking me what I want on the day. Pffft.
I explained to him why I was upset and he said that there is no reason why she shouldn't still celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day. He said that there is no reason for us to forget. I know that many, if not all of the mommies on My Parenting Community will agree with him, although somehow it still feels weird.
I still don't consider myself a mother, even though I acknowledge, miss and love the baby that I had. I suppose my definition of a 'mother' is different from other people's. I suppose my definition of a 'parent' is someone with a living child. That is not necessarily correct. The dictionary says:
mother [muhth-er]
–noun 1. a female parent.
2. (often initial capital letter) one's female parent.
3. a mother-in-law, stepmother, or adoptive mother.
4. a term of address for a female parent or a woman having or regarded as having the status, function, or authority of a female parent.
and the dictionary definition of parent:
parent [pair-uhnt, par-]
–noun 1. a father or a mother.
2. an ancestor, precursor, or progenitor.
3. a source, origin, or cause.
4. a protector or guardian.
5. Biology. any organism that produces or generates another.
That doesn't really clear it up. Mother's Day comes before Father's Day usually. Can't wait to see what Rudi will do. I hope it won't be like my birthday...perhaps breakfast in bed and a last minute present after asking me what I want on the day. Pffft.
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