+ 400g

So...my body is telling me that I am ovulating...and I am trying my best to ignore it, despite the pain in my abdomen and other clear signs. Be gone! But don't...ugh. Trying to stop this bus I got on to is proving harder than I thought it would. Rudi asked me to check my ovulation microscope. I didn't though. I can tell I'm ovulating. I can feel it. Argh!

Despite 'no longer trying' I'm still thinking thoughts like 'Oh wouldn't it be funny if we got pregnant this month, now that we're "not trying"'...So I'm still hoping that it is going to happen, despite 'giving up'. It's all so messed up in my own head, I don't want to know how it must seem to those reading my blog.

Not only that...but I've been *SO* emotional since the pregnancy. I feel like I don't always have control of my emotions. I cry for any old thing...I get angry and flare up for barely any reason. It's tiring. If it wouldn't prevent me from getting pregnant I'd go right back on the pill...some hormones to set me straight.

My gynae wanted me to come see him if my cycle length doesn't come right on it's own. The cycles since my pregnancy are looking as follows:

Cycle 1: 38
Cycle 2: 34
Cycle 3: 35
Cycle 4: 33

I suppose that seems sort of regular. Doesn't it? No excuse to see the gynae then I guess.

Right, so I gained 400g. Shut up. It was Easter...and I'm ovulating...but I really need to get my ass into gear and get back on track. My beautiful 7kg lost is now only 6.6kg again. Nellie will be going on the eating plan after she's had her baby...so I guess she'll help me along (again)....

Speaking of which...she's in hospital right now preparing to give birth to her boy, Daniel! I am scared and excited for her. I'm waiting for my phone to ring so that I can make the official announcement on the parenting community (see badge on the right). We've been talking about this day for such a long time I cannot believe it is finally here! I'm dying to see photos of this boy that wriggled in his mother's tummy every time I spoke to her...we won't have to wait for too much longer...

P.S. Will post photos from Franshoek if I find any good shots when I'm downloading the pics.

Renamed

Jane had a good point in the comment she left the other day. She said the names that I have for Rudi's friends are very negative. It's true, I can't deny it. Perhaps this assists in the perpetuation of my negative attitude towards them. So I have decided to rename them.

Crack Head scored MAJOR brownie points with me last night. He came to visit Rudi while I was at choir practice and when I got home I discovered a gift for me in the fridge. Lindor Chocolate balls. Absolutely my favourite and for some reason Rudi never got them for me on Valentine's Day as I requested. Now I have some. Don't worry, I didn't eat them. I'm saving them for a special occasion. Crack Head will hence forth be known as Lindor. He also bought me a tiny little cactus last time he visited. I'm not sure exactly why he comes bearing gifts since he seems to know now I have put my grudge aside, but I'm not going to question this practice or complain!

Now on to Boring Person (Male) and Boring Person (Female). This took me a long time to mull over in my head. Trying to come up with something creative and positive has proved to be quite a challenge. I thought about calling Boring Person (Male) Older Guy, but Lindor is around the same age so it just doesn't make sense. This isn't awfully creative, but I'm going to call him Fence. He has an Afrikaans name and the name kind of reminds me of the word 'fence' (translated). I think that is quite a neutral name. I neither love nor hate fences. Boring Person (Female) will now be known as Caregiver. She runs a creche and cares for quite a few children on a daily basis so I think the name is apt.

So now that nobody on my blog has a negative name anymore, other than My Evil Mother who I reserve the right to keep that way until she is no longer evil, I feel a little lighter.

Speaking of My Evil Mother. On Wednesday after church she called me aside, asked me to hold her hand and said something like 'No matter what happens and no matter what you or I say, I will always be your mother and these shoulders are always here for you'. RANDOM! Last night she called me at the last minute and asked to be picked up for choir practice. We had a little time to chat and I asked her why she made this random little speech. She then said 'I am your mother, I can sense things and I will always be there for you despite the fact that you aren't there for me'
'Like when?'
'Like when I went through my divorce, but it's fine.'
I didn't even get into it with her. I kind of feel like one is asking for divorce when you are cheating on your spouse. I don't know why you would expect a different result and I don't recall her being there for me all that much after we lost our son. Sure she came to the hospital and was there the day he was born and died and she went to look at him for me and take photos, but she wasn't there after that or before that when I was going through a very hard time. Being there for one day while all the drama of the weeks before come to a head and then not being there afterwards doesn't cut it in my book. But I didn't get into it with her. She says she's divorcing her current husband. This is not the first time she has said this. They've been married for four months. I am not sure if she will divorce him, although I don't see any benefit to staying with him.

I called my grandparents and found out that my grandmother had told her that Rudi and I were having problems (this is obviously how she 'senses things' as my mother). I kind of knew that would have been her source. I wish she would learn that I am not as gullible as she thinks.

Doctor's Bills...AAAAAARGH!!!!

Here's a tip. Don't ever open a doctors bill in the morning. I received the pathologist bills that I have been waiting for and hastily opened them this morning so that I could pay them as soon as possible.

Imagine those cartoon characters that have their eyes popping out of their socket. Oh. My. Fuck. The bill is almost DOUBLE what I anticipated. To be exact the bill for the pathologist is R5649.30. Can you say 'Payment Arrangement'?

I gave them a call and they agreed that I can pay them off over 12 months which is around R475.00 a month. That, at least, is manageable.

Rudi thinks I'm pregnant again because I'm irritable. Last time he identified my pregnancy by the amount I was eating. I don't feel sick or anything and I guess my next period will only come around December. I'm not sure exactly how to work it out, but my cycle is usually 32 days and if I calculate from the date of the termination then I am due 7 December. It's not impossible that I am pregnant, but I'm not going to get excited. I've been under a lot of pressure at work as we have HUGE problems and are trying to wade through PILES of complaints. Nobody is even going to the loo today (yet somehow I'm finding time to blog) because we are so swamped.

One of my colleagues was admitted to hospital yesterday. She's been coughing a lot for a long time and we kept on telling her to go to the doctor, but she kept putting it off. Yesterday Jubba told her to leave work and go to the hospital. The latest news is that she has blood clots on her lungs and that she is diabetic. I remember how devastated I was at the possibility of being diabetic, I hope she is OK.

I have stopped writing this post for about 4 hours because we're so freaking busy. I have to get my work up to date...no time to dawdle on blogger!

Spiritual Experiences

The memorial service was held on Sunday after our church service. My mother in law, sister in law, aunt, uncle, grandmother, grandfather, My Evil Mother, Rudi and I were all there. My mother in law brought flowers and a slab of chocolate. My aunt and My Evil Mother cried more than I did. It was short and dignified. Since the beginning of all of this I’ve had a few significant spiritual experiences. Some of them are difficult to explain to someone who is not New Apostolic, but I’ll try.

On the day that I was admitted to hospital I received many phone calls from family and friends with words of encouragement and assurances of prayers. My grandfather’s family specifically came through which is strange because they are not particularly close to us. They all told me that they are praying for our protection and Lynne who had to go through the same experience as me told me I will not be alone in the hospital room and that I need to remember that.

As the general wards were full I ended up in a private room and had a small TV in front of my bed. While I was watching TV I saw a reflection which looked exactly like our church’s symbol. Looking behind me I only saw a chain with a triangular shaped handle hanging from it (used by ladies who have had epidurals to assist in turning themselves). This of course does not resemble our church symbol at all, but when reflected in the TV it looked that way, making me feel like I was not alone in the room.

In our faith we take communion at each service (twice a week if you attend both services) and we eat a small wafer while partaking in the sacrament. The communion is served by priests who take the wafers out of silver cups and put the wafer into your hands. As the priests do this they attempt to separate any wafers they feel might be stuck together, so if you receive two wafers it almost always has a significant meaning. For instance, the first time I partook of communion after I found out I was pregnant I received two wafers instead of one, which indicated God’s acknowledgement of my baby to me. On Sunday our rector (who had been specifically moved back to our congregation even though he was booked somewhere else so that he could perform the memorial) served communion. It is the first time I have ever seen him do so. He happened to be placed in front of the block where I was sitting. Someone happened to skip him while going up for communion which resulted in him serving me with communion. He said he picked up the wafer and tried to separate them as they normally would and couldn’t. When he looked up I was standing in front of him. After I received the wafer I also looked down at it as I noticed it was much thicker than usual and the two wafers were stuck together as if glued that way. Both the rector and I felt that the chain of events leading up to this was a sign that our baby was also now partaking of Holy Communion in his place of rest, may he rest in peace.

I have been spending a lot of time with my grandparents while I have been off. Before I went to hospital I could not be alone with all the uncertainty and questions floating about in my head I was in a permanent state and needed to be around my loved ones to keep me calm and sane. I would sit howling on my own driving myself crazy. My grandfather being on chemo also appreciated the company. On a number of occasions my grandfather asked me if I had seen the movie ‘Evan Almighty’ and I kept telling him that I hadn’t. Yesterday I was there for the first time since we lost James and he asked me the question again. For some reason I asked him if he would put it on for me. I had what Oprah might call an ‘Aha’ moment while watching it yesterday and felt like it contained something that I desperately needed to hear. At some point Samuel L. Jackson (who portrays God in the movie) says ‘When someone prays for patience, God gives them an opportunity to be patient. If someone prays for courage, God gives them an opportunity to be courageous’, this telling me that God does not put circumstances in our way to break our spirit, but to strengthen us in ways we never thought possible. I have an opportunity, I just need to figure out what the opportunity is.

I really needed to start interpreting the situation a little differently and turning all the negativity that had been in my head into something positive. I thought it so strange that I have never lost a friend or family member close to me to death. Now I have lost a child, much closer than anyone else could have been. Perhaps this will prepare me for circumstances I will face in the future which I could not have faced before. Perhaps God wants me to appreciate and shower with love and care the healthy baby I will be provided. Honestly before I fell pregnant I did not want a baby. Now I want nothing more. I will take no chances next time. I will not look at any medication. I will lie over the toilet for months, suffer through infection, and do what I need to do, but take no chances with our next child.

I do not know how long we will wait before we try again. We may just wait out the year and start trying again next year. The gynae wanted to see me again in February. Perhaps we will wait for that check up.

I realize that this has been quite a religious entry, but I needed to express my spiritual experiences. I needed to record them because I do not want to forget exactly how I felt when these things happened to me. It is so easy to lose perspective which is why I blog. Reading back on past experiences sometimes just gives you the perspective you need to be in a better emotional place in your life when you forget how blessed you are.

James: Part II

***WARNING***
Some readers may find content graphic or upsetting

It hit me this morning for the first time. Yesterday I was feeling guilty for not feeling worse. For not having cried yet. I know I'm supposed to, but it hadn't happened. This morning it happened. I cried. Not a snivelling, silent cry either. A full blown snot and howling cry. I know I'm allowed to. I've given myself permission to feel however I want to and not to hide my emotions and bottle them up. Unfortunately Rudi was at work and wasn't here to comfort me, so I hauled out my laptop.

Let's first cover what My Evil Mother did that upset me. Just after I had come out of theater her and my grandmother went to look at the baby. Rudi and I were alone and he shared with me that he keeps having this vision that there is nothing wrong with the baby. That we had made a mistake and we couldn't fix it now. I tried to re-assure him that the scans were clear enough even for a layman to see that there was something wrong.

When My Evil Mother re-entered the room she kept saying 'He's perfect. He's so beautiful'. I kept asking her what she meant that he was perfect and she said 'He had 10 fingers and 10 toes, etc'. This confused the hell out of me, considering that Rudi had voiced this fear not minutes earlier. I asked her if she looked at his hands and she said yes and that he had 10 fingers...eventually she said you could see that the hands were frozen in a claw like position. We had asked My Evil Mother to take a few photos with my phone in case I changed my mind about seeing the baby later on. Eventually Rudi couldn't take it anymore and asked to see the photos. After seeing the photos (video clips actually, My Evil Mother has no idea how to operate a phone) Rudi seemed more calm though. My Evil Mother said the same thing she said to me to my uncle and aunt who immediately started saying things like 'They should sue the doctors for giving them the wrong information'.

After finally mustering the courage to look at the pictures myself I had no doubt that we had made the right decision. In hindsight My Evil Mother was possibly trying to be positive and not to upset me. I did phone her and told her that she is no longer to discuss it with anybody as she seems to be giving people the impression that we terminated a healthy baby. She said that she didn't know how to handle the situation and that she didn't know what else to say. I believe her. It is a difficult thing to go through and there isn't a manual telling you what the 'right' thing is to say.

We had agreed to let the geneticist have a look at the baby, even though we decided not to have a post mortem done. She called me yesterday and asked if I wanted to know about her findings. I agreed as I wanted re-assurance from a medical professional as well. She found that the baby had no anus which was causing the obstruction in the bowel. The baby had no way of disposing of waste. She had an x-ray taken and was able to see that the bottom of the spine did not close as it should and the nerve endings seemed to be problematic as well. She could not ascertain at first why the hands were a problem, but on closer inspection of the x-ray she was able to see that the skull and spine were not properly connected causing the brain to have problems sending messages to the hands. The geneticist asked if we had determined the sex of the baby from the amniocentesis (which we did not) as she could not ascertain the sex upon examining the foetus. Sexual organs should have been well developed at this stage of the pregnancy. We have decided to stick to it being a boy. She asked permission to keep the photos she had taken, I granted her permission and requested her to e-mail some to me as the video clips My Evil Mother took were of very poor quality. She agreed to do so. I will not post the photos of the baby on my blog as I feel that they may be quite disturbing. From the photos the club feet are evident, but it is also clear that one leg is much longer than the other and seems to be facing the wrong way. It almost looks like the leg is broken, which is what they most likely would have had to do to correct that.

I cannot imagine the amount of surgeries and pain this baby would have had to have if the baby had managed to survive. I don't think the baby would have survived considering it was unable to rid it's body of waste. Rudi and I are completely at peace with our decision though and we know that we did the right thing.

A part of me wants to start trying to fall pregnant again immediately. Another part of me is too afraid to. I don't know what we're going to do, but I do know that I do not want to go back onto the pill again. Maybe that was one of the reasons this happened. I fell pregnant really quickly after going off the pill and who knows if that interfered with the development of our baby. I know women fall pregnant on the pill or shortly after going off of it all the time, but you never know what caused the problems with my pregnancy and I'd rather not take the chance. How we are going to prevent pregnancy will have to be a done on a trial and error basis with available contraceptives.

Rudi just got back from work and wants to go fishing. I feel like chopping his head off with a bread knife. He could clearly see that I am upset and need support, but he chooses not to be with me. I told him that I don't want to be alone and that I need him, but he wants to go fishing. I'm seriously fucked off with him right now.



A cactus that I have which is flowering now. Ironic, yet it gives me hope somehow.



The beautiful flowers I received from my colleagues at work.



Where they attempted to administer a drip (and failed).



This is where they eventually managed to put the drip in nicely, it's a bit swollen, but not nearly as bad as my arm!



Where they attempted to administer the epidural.

And so my battle scars will heal...now I just have to figure out what will heal my heart. A memorial service will be held for our baby tomorrow after church. That will be the last goodbye.

James/Sebastian

***WARNING***

Some readers may find descriptions graphic.

On Monday we went to Tygerberg hospital to go for the scan and to make our final decision. It was as we feared and they found another problem on top of all the other things that were suspected. The results of the scan were as follows:

The baby's head was lemon shaped and a cause for concern.
The spine could not properly be assessed as the baby was lying inside my pelvis.
The baby had bilateral club feet.
The bladder was not properly formed.
There was urine leaking into the bowel.
The bowel showed signs of obstruction and was causing swelling of the abdomen.
The baby was unable to move the wrists or hands.

We didn't have any indication that there was a problem with the hands at all until Monday. Finding another problem over and above those things that were suspected confirmed for us that letting the baby go was the right thing to do. They could not tell us whether or not the problems with the bladder/bowel could be fixed until after the baby was born. The club feet were operable, but no guarantees about the child's capabilities or quality of life. There is no cure for the problems with the wrists and hands. The geneticist at Tygerberg said she has never in her 30 year career seen a combination of these symptoms and it is a unique case. We knew then that it was time to let the baby go and scheduled an appointment with my gynae to discuss termination. He made an appointment for us the very same afternoon.

We went to see my gynae and advised him that we decided to terminate the pregnancy. He didn't have to say so, but you could tell that he agreed with our decision. He immediately prescribed medication to start inducing labour (Cytotec).

I was admitted into hospital Tuesday at 17:00 with cramps. The pain was minimal (similar to period pains, just right through to the back) and I could cope. A gel was inserted to soften my cervix and to prepare for the next day. I managed to sleep well with the assistance of a sleeping tablets and no painkillers.

The next morning the doctor came to see me and injected another gel straight into my uterus. Within a few minutes the nurse decided to call Rudi back to the hospital as I started having contractions and she thought I needed his support. The doctor said he will be back around 10:00 to monitor my progress and insert more gel into my uterus. I was given an injection for pain which made me very drowsy. Around 10:00 the doctor had not come yet and the pain killer had started to wear off. At around 10:30 the nurse decided to give me another pain killer despite the fact that the doctor had not yet come around. The doctor did come around 11:00 and saw how much pain I was in. I was screaming like someone who was having their fingernails pulled off. He decided that I could have an epidural as the process was iniated successfully, after which he would insert more gel into my uterus. The contractions were about two minutes apart and excruciating. In between contractions I was dozing off due to the painkiller. It was such an odd feeling - excruciating pain one minute, falling asleep the next, only to be rudely awakened by another contraction.

He attempted to give me the epidural in two different places, but from what I could tell he could not find 'resistance' against the needle (He said this to the nurse). To my surprise the epidural did not hurt, it just felt very strange to have something wriggling around in my spine. They asked me to lie down and after about 10 minutes the contractions had gotten worse and it became evident that the epidural had not worked. My doctor immediately arranged for me to be rushed to theater for an evacuation and scrape. By this time the contractions were so bad I was screaming for them to make it stop and to please help me. I'm surprised I didn't swear. I thought I'd be inventing new swear words with the level of pain I was experiencing. Poor Rudi looked like a deer caught in the headlights. He didn't know what to do. I felt bad that he felt so helpless and tried my best between contractions (if I was not dozing off) to assure him there was nothing he could do but be with me.

I think I might have been scaring the other patients with my screaming as the nurse kept on saying "OK Mrs. {insert surname here} every time I started having a contraction and screaming my head off. I remember the theater nurse telling me it was around 13:10. The anaesthetist asked me a few quick questions and told me to expect a burning feeling in my arm, which I did not feel.

Then they woke me up and it was all over. It was almost 14:00.

My Evil Mother and grandmother had been called and went to see the baby as Rudi and I decided not to, but we wanted someone to go and look. (I will discuss in another post what My Evil Mother did that makes me want to wring her neck) I asked My Evil Mother to take a few photos with my phone in case I decided later that I wanted to see the baby. The biggest shock for us was that we had a little boy, not a little girl as we were told, hence me not referring to the baby's sex earlier in the post. We were kind of stuck for a boy's name so we are not sure whether it will be Sebastian or James.

Last night I felt good physically and didn't require any painkillers. This morning I feel a bit like I've been through the wars. It hurts everywhere they stuck a needle in me and my girlie bits are sore too. Luckily the bleeding has subsided.

Emotionally I think I am still in shock. I don't think it has really hit me yet. I cried a little after I came out of theater, but I think it will sink in later (probably when I least expect it).

The geneticist at Tygerberg wanted to look at the foetus, out of professional curiosity I guess. She told us they will not be able to tell us the likelihood of future birth defects without performing a post mortem on the baby. We enquired about it today and the post mortem will set us back approximately another R3000.00 (it could be more). After much deliberation we decided not to have a post mortem done. It will not change what happened and will most likely not prevent anything specific in the future. The initial report (from Tygerberg on Monday) said that the likelihood of re-occurrence or future birth defects may be as high as 25%, but they did not comment on the cause. 25% is pretty high considering there was only a 2% chance that something would have been wrong with this baby. The fact that the geneticist said it was a unique case gives us some hope that it might just have been bad luck.

So when we do try again we will be taking a risk and we will need to pray that we have a healthy baby.

I'm booked off till next Friday and will try to update my blog as often as I can.

Halloween 2008

You can go here to see all the halloween pics.

I'm not coping very well today. Burst into tears at church and couldn't stop crying for a while. Not 100% sure why, nothing in particular set me off.

Not looking forward to the trip to the hospital tomorrow, but it's got to be done.

Medical Aid Rip-Off

So here we are. Halfway through the week already. I didn't cry yesterday for the first time since we found out about the problems with our baby. I did still have to bite back some tears, but I didn't burst into them. Going to sit at the hospital on Monday is going to be tedious and frustrating, yet I can't wait. I think we'll pack something to eat and I'll try to take a book along. We'll go as early as possible to try and secure a seat somewhere near the front of the line. I also still have to open a folder at the hospital since I've never been there before.

Once all of this is over I want to change my medical aid. Discovery is a total rip off. We pay around R1700.00 a month. Since about two months ago Rudi and I have been paying our doctors bills out of our own pocket as our medical savings are depleted. We get about R4000.00 medical savings a year from which we need to claim any doctors appointments, medicine, dental appointments and optometrist appointments. Basically they don't cover any of these things, everything has to come from your medical savings. Even the amniocentesis (which is around R3000.00) needs to come out of your medical savings. Had the amniocentesis happened at the beginning of the year we would have needed to cover basically all our medical costs out of our own pocket for the rest of the year. I need to go to the optometrist at least once a year for an eye test and have to buy contact lenses. That already takes a big chunk out of my medical savings. You're supposed to see the dentist once every six months. Rudi and I went to the dentist once this year, both of us had our teeth cleaned and about 1 filling. That cost R2000.00. After that we were pretty much screwed. I got a throat infection when I was about 3 months pregnant - R500 for the doctor and the medicine I required. Neither Rudi or I are sickly people and we don't require to go to the doctor often, but after all the required treatment (optometrist and dentist) we can't afford to get sick. So what am I paying R1700.00 a month for? In case I end up in hospital basically.

The Company have just approved a new medical aid. Bonnita's medical fund. There are a few staff members who are already part of this scheme and I think I will definitely look into changing as soon as we have definite answers about the baby.

Birthday and more

My birthday was boring. I didn’t do anything the whole day, but that was the plan. I was on leave and wanted to sleep late and do nothing. Rudi called in sick – but he spent half the day at the doctor. He is such a hypochondriac. Every time he goes to the doctor they send him to a specialist and they can’t find anything wrong with him. He’s starting to dislike doctors because he says there is definitely something wrong with him, even if they can’t find it.

We had two fights yesterday. I was angry at him for depleting the medical aid (which in all fairness, he does pay for too), but I’m going to need it a lot more than him with the baby on the way. Gynae appointments and scans and tests are all going to cost a lot of money.

The second fight was about him not buying me a gift for my birthday. Every year when I leave him to his own devices and I don’t make him go and buy me something, he doesn’t. He leaves it until it is my birthday and then he asks ‘So what do you want?’ It annoys me to no end because I feel like he doesn’t put any thought into it until the last minute. I’ve learnt my lesson about letting him pick gifts himself. He is not too bad at picking jewellery, but that is about it. Last year he wanted to buy me a single ticket to go and see a Pink concert. I like Pink, but definitely not enough to go on my own and not enough to want it as a birthday gift. I got him to buy me an expensive media player instead. Boogaloo contributed to that one a bit too. Eventually he stormed out and went to buy me a bottle of my favourite perfume (which I had run out of and told him to go and buy me).

Sarah and Brad came around last night. Sarah bought a cute set of baby clothes, but wrote me an I.O.U for my birthday gift. It was nice having them over, we hardly see them anymore.

My grandparents bought me a new pyjamas – it’s really pretty. My aunt bought me a set of plastic containers (don’t ask me why – because I haven’t figured it out yet, I have enough Tupperware for the whole family). Leeza stuck to our Harry Potter deal and bought me “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets” and a ton of lollipops. Two other colleagues clubbed together and bought me a pretty silver chain with a butterfly pendant. I received more gifts than I expected which was great!

I feel horrible since this morning. I threw up bile this morning and I’m not sure if that taste just made me feel like crap, but I still feel yucky right now. I haven’t eaten anything, but my appetite is not all that. I’ve eaten lollipops this morning, but it hasn’t helped.

My grandfather is going into hospital today. His operation is tomorrow. They are taking him in today to prepare him for the op and to flush out his system. They located two dark spots on his liver which they will test for cancer after the operation – they are going to remove samples while he is under. There are also more areas of concern close to where they will be operating which they will also sample for testing. If any of the tests for the spots come back malignant he will go on chemotherapy for 6 months. I am very worried about him, but I try my best not to think about it. He simply has to make it. There’s no other way.

On a happy note Rudi and I have found a new place to stay. It’s a really nice place in Durbanville. It is also a flat, but it is 88 square metres which is bigger than our place now. It has a built in braai (BBQ) on the balcony, two bedrooms, a separate shower and bath and lots of cupboard space. We will be renting directly from the owner who is a really nice lady. We’ll be moving 31 August and I’ll post pictures once we’ve moved!