Bleugh

I'm really trying my best not to write an entire rant about Jubba. I will refrain. I must be zen. I must not let him get to me. Breath in. Breath out. In. Out.

Right. So Rudi and I are also going to watch The Knowing with Nicholas Cage on Saturday. The trailer looks really good, but I've heard whispers on Twitter that the ending is a disappointment.

I'm probably being quite optimistic with all my weekend plans, considering the all day sickness seems to be getting worse at the moment, but I can't stop my life.

***Later***

Just barfed at work. That's a first. Usually my system doesn't allow me to barf in public. I do feel a bit better though. My lunch is almost over and I haven't had anything to eat yet. I thought I could have plain salted popcorn, but they didn't have. Leebeesa gave me two provitas. So sweet of her.

Anyway. Hoping Jubba stays out of my way for the rest of the day and that I get enough rest this weekend. I certainly need it.

Fantabulous

I literally fell out of bed this morning. It was funny, but not really funny at the time so much. I got up, and obviously didn't do it very well and I tipped over against the wall. I righted myself and then tripped over the wires next to my bed. No serious injuries. Not even a bruise, I think. Despite the manner in which I was rudely awoken...I am in a fantastic mood today! I have a vibey song stuck in my head and I can't help shaking "it" every now and then...

I have *no* idea why...but I am not going to complain! I can't remember the last time I felt like this! Positive and happy (even wearing my Clinique Happy today)...just marvellous! I'm obviously also happy because it's Friday and I can finally have a lie in tomorrow morning.

There was a slight 'hiccup' with my bonus calculation. I received a poor score for something I *know* I do properly...Jubba has been investigating for a the last 3 days. This morning we checked together and they were wrong! The report was incorrect and I scored 100% instead of 81%. In your faces! I knew it!

Phew...a lot of "!" for one post :)

No huge plans for the weekend. I'm looking forward to Sarah and Brad's housewarming tomorrow night. We also have a Chief Apostle service on Sunday - which only starts at 10...another little lie in on Sunday then.

We just received free t-shirts from work and mine actually fits. It's definitely my day today. The workload doesn't even look too heavy. I am going to play the lotto today. This lucky streak is too good to waste!

On a side note...I really have to find a better way of organizing my earrings and necklaces:



I thought buying this stand thingie would really help so that my necklaces don't get tangled and knotted (Rudi eventually started refusing to de-tangle and un-knot them)...but I've acquired so many earrings and things in the interim...the above happened. Also, this little stand doesn't hold my stud earrings. Any have a workable idea for me?

Twitter

Yesterday I signed up to Twitter. I'd heard about it before, but I wasn't sure what it was. The word 'twitter' was coming up a lot in my daily life (even on the radio) and I decided to sign up and check it all out. Nice thing about twitter? It's not blocked at work like Facebook. Yet.

So the cell phone number for my father was a dead end, although I kind of expected that. I didn't call the number, in case you were wondering. Cell phone numbers are quite disposable, despite some people wanting to hang on to them for dear life. Really, I know. Some people don't use their cell phone number for over a year and then wonder why it is deleted. Like the networks have space to save all the millions of profiles of SIM cards that are most likely thrown away. Read the terms a conditions for pete's sake. OK. Rant over!

I'm starting to feel a bit better. I still have a bit of a cough and my tummy still hurts, but other than that I'm in ordinary health. I have to go to the doctor soon for a 'check up'. I'm taking out life insurance and I guess they want to make sure I'm not already dying on them. They pay for the doctor's appointment though. It's basically a free physical. I'm not going to complain. I also have to go for a blood test to ensure that I'm a non-smoker. Under normal circumstances that wouldn't be a problem, but a little while ago while Rudi and I were fighting I was REALLY stressed out and I kind of started smoking again. Not much, just the occasional cigarette...and then when I had a drink I would light up. I was almost smoking every day. The last time I smoked was Sunday. I've been told it should be out of my system in a week and half. I guess we'll have to see what the blood test yields. It hasn't been too tough to stop again now that I have a goal. Yeah I know. I'm bad. I almost had two years on my smoke free record. Idiot. Now I have to start counting all over again like the relapsed addict I am.

It's Jubba's birthday today. The team has planned a little surprise party for him and booked him a one hour full body massage as a gift. We'll be buying him Nando's. His favourite. I had a little chat with Jubba a while ago. I aired my feelings and I told him about how people perceive him. I explained to him that I have seen his softer side and it was a real pity that people judged him by his outbursts of rage. I tried to impress on him that people tend to remember the bad stuff you do, especially when the bad stuff is so extreme. Since our little chat our relationship has seemed to improve. He has really become a bit better. Towards me anyway. He also said he's taking it easy on me since we lost James as he can tell I'm not my old self anymore. I cried in his office. I felt stupid, but he asked me how things were at home. He asked during the week when Rudi and I were fighting and I felt like my marriage was crumbling. If he didn't want to know, he shouldn't have asked.

We stayed up late last night. Well, late for us. For those of you who didn't know we go to bed at around 20:30 usually and wake up around 05:30. Early to bed, early to rise. We really got into season 3 of Criminal Minds and that caused us to stay up past our bedtime. Pity I'm working this weekend. Otherwise I might have been able to rest.

Sick

I'm not feeling so well today. I didn't go in to work. I think I'm coming down with something. I feel all congested at night and nauseous during the day. No...I'm not pregnant. My readers would be amongst the first to know. I got up this morning and prepared breakfast and lunch for Rudi and I, like I do every morning...but I just didn't feel right. I bit the bullet and phoned Jubba (something I loathe to do, although he has always been reasonable when I've been ill) and took a sick day.

It's very hot today...I've already gone and cleaned the kitchen and put things straight and all sorts of things I should rather just leave because I'm not feeling well. Now that everything is done though I'm going to rest. Maybe it's just all the stress at work lately. There's been tension in the air at work for the past two weeks. For a change it's not Jubba that's driving me crazy. The whole department has been in shambles and trying to bail out one of the portfolios and I think everyone is feeling a little thinly spread. Management doesn't think we're performing at our optimum levels and decided to just pile more work on and shuffle us around. It makes complete sense from a business perspective, but we are people and sometimes companies forget about people. I must say The Company isn't heartless and doesn't treat us badly and pays us well. I don't blame The Company...I just think there are some structuring issues and perhaps some strategies need to be put in place to prevent the portfolio in question from falling behind like they have again. It's not the first time it has happened, but it always seems like it gets left till the last minute and then everyone panics.

So. I'm resting today.

I bought myself a very pretty dress yesterday. It's officially the only one I own. I own skirts that I rarely wear, but I have no dresses. Just this one. I saw it in a mall close by quite a while ago, but they didn't have my size. Yesterday I saw it in a different mall, in my size AND on sale. I had to get it. Rarely does a dress catch my eye, but this one did.



So last night I put on my new dress and my heels and I went to church. I felt so feminine and pretty. It's the perfect dress for special occasions and I received lots of compliments last night.

Check out Amber's battle scar:






Silly cat.

I just finished watching P.S. I love you. Very good movie. It just brings me back to that place where I remember that I need to appreciate what I have. It's a beautiful movie and I would recommend you see it if you haven't yet.

I looked at my microscope long and hard this morning and I just checked it again. I think I'm starting to see signs of ferning. Very slight, but it's starting to show up. Rudi reckons it still looks the same, but I don't agree. Maybe tomorrow it will be clearer and he can see.

I might have gotten myself out of fishing on Saturday with Fence and Lindor. It all depends on whether or not their partners are going with. Even if I don't go fishing, there's no escaping the braai (BBQ) afterwards. On Sunday apparently we're going to Franshoek. Rudi's brother, Derick, wants to do something for their mom and we've been invited, but it's not yet confirmed. I must take my camera if we go. It's beautiful there. I hope I'm not still feeling ill this weekend.

Waiting

I feel like crap today. I'm having a bad hair day and I feel nauseous. Unfortunately I don't think the nausea has anything to do with pregnancy, but rather with the tension and frustration caused by coming back to work. Not least of all, Jubba. He hasn't shouted at me today yet, but sometimes he likes to leave you hanging for a while. It's torturous.

Other than that the pimple on my face is making me feel very unpretty and I still have cramps. My cycle hasn't started yet, but I feel it is inevitable that it will. Feeling quite hopeless about it today. I don't look forward to another month of trying. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sexy time with Rudi...but working on a schedule is so unromantic.

I feel really horrible. I hate this. Maybe it's just hormones.

The Dreaded Jubba

Oh my goodness. I've received reports from work that Jubba is on the war path (again). Apparently I'm in for it when I get back. Now I'm DREADING going back to work. I am already emotional (PMS?) and frustrated with my own things in my head...now I have to be shouted at and be told how worthless I am by this...this...man. Word is that he wants to crap all over me about surfing the internet (again). I did relax a bit over the festive season...(I'm not the only one that surfs for Pete's sake! Just the only one that is singled out constantly), but apparently he said I stopped for about a week. Absolute bullshit. I'll tell him that to his face. I don't appreciate him discussing this with an entire team behind my back either. Bastard! Don't know how often I'll be able to blog with him looking over my shoulder :(

Apparently my team has already been called in and told how useless they are. The girls have been accused of 'not doing anything' (this is the second time this has happened in my absence) the boys fervently agreeing. Liars.

I wish someone would stand up to him. I wish we could all stand up to him. We are too afraid though...because if nothing happens and he stays in his current position we are sure to be victimized afterward *sigh* What to do? Eat up all his crap is what we do. ARGH!

I already have a pimple and cramps today. Not looking good for pregnancy :(

Crazy time

When I got into work this morning I was feeling really grim. I was upset and moody and depressed. Perfect week for this kind of cheer.

I usually work from 7am - 4pm. This week I was suckered into working 9am - 6pm. Any other week I would have worked around it and not complained much, but the way in which it came about made me mad. We only require one staff member to work the 9 - 6 shift. Last week two team members worked the shift (unnecessarily) so that they would be able to say they've 'had their turn' when it came to the week before Christmas and would wash their hands of the shift. They're both guys by the way. I have so much preparation to do for Christmas and family are making demands on my time as well (I'm sure other women can relate). How on earth am I supposed to get done if I only get home from work at almost 7pm?! I still have to collect gifts from family members, do My Evil Mother's hair for her and go and buy stuff for the trifle I have to make! *panics*

Finally I spoke to Jubba (he's been in a festive mood for around a week now, it's lovely) and he said it's not necessary for me to work this shift this work, so I'll be reverting back to 7 - 4 tomorrow. I'm overjoyed!(It's only 3 days anyway)

I'm feeling a bit down and frustrated today. I get frazzled like this when I'm stressed out, but things usually work out for the best.

I think I might feel a bit down since Rudi and I were supposed to start trying to get pregnant already and we just haven't gotten around to it. There is probably still time, but there's such a small window you have to squeeze through to get pregnant and I don't want to accidentally 'miss it'. That being said...I said I wouldn't rush things and have no idea when I ovulate anyway. We thought we'd just try every second day and see what happens. Just got to get started!

At least I can drink to relieve my tension!

Doctor's Bills...AAAAAARGH!!!!

Here's a tip. Don't ever open a doctors bill in the morning. I received the pathologist bills that I have been waiting for and hastily opened them this morning so that I could pay them as soon as possible.

Imagine those cartoon characters that have their eyes popping out of their socket. Oh. My. Fuck. The bill is almost DOUBLE what I anticipated. To be exact the bill for the pathologist is R5649.30. Can you say 'Payment Arrangement'?

I gave them a call and they agreed that I can pay them off over 12 months which is around R475.00 a month. That, at least, is manageable.

Rudi thinks I'm pregnant again because I'm irritable. Last time he identified my pregnancy by the amount I was eating. I don't feel sick or anything and I guess my next period will only come around December. I'm not sure exactly how to work it out, but my cycle is usually 32 days and if I calculate from the date of the termination then I am due 7 December. It's not impossible that I am pregnant, but I'm not going to get excited. I've been under a lot of pressure at work as we have HUGE problems and are trying to wade through PILES of complaints. Nobody is even going to the loo today (yet somehow I'm finding time to blog) because we are so swamped.

One of my colleagues was admitted to hospital yesterday. She's been coughing a lot for a long time and we kept on telling her to go to the doctor, but she kept putting it off. Yesterday Jubba told her to leave work and go to the hospital. The latest news is that she has blood clots on her lungs and that she is diabetic. I remember how devastated I was at the possibility of being diabetic, I hope she is OK.

I have stopped writing this post for about 4 hours because we're so freaking busy. I have to get my work up to date...no time to dawdle on blogger!

The Difference

My second day at work definitely went better than the first day. For one thing I forgot to bring a new box of tissues, but I managed not to cry. All this despite the fact that someone came to me and spoke to me about the whole thing directly. His wife found out she was pregnant shortly after I did, so we were comparing milestones and such. I've always like him...I think I even might have had a crush on him at some point. He's a really nice guy, but I managed not to cry in front of him, even though I wanted to. He had his own theory about the soul of the baby and why it left us. It's nice to hear other points of view.

This is such a weird place to be in. I was going to be a parent...and now I'm not. I was going to be a mother...and now I'm not. My entire life was going to change...and now it hasn't. There was all this expectation and build up...and now...nothing. Just sadness and heartache.

The only thing that has really changed is my focus and how other people are towards me. People treat me like I am a fragile now, which I suppose I am at the moment and I don't mind it. Rather that than someone (like Jubba) saying the wrong thing to me and me being fired for stabbing him with the scissors on my desk.

I never wanted a baby before. Now I'm thinking perhaps I'll have two. I've also learned to be VERY careful what you wish for. It haunts me that I used to say 'I've always wanted to be pregnant, I've just never wanted a baby', because that's exactly what I got. Pregnancy without a baby. This is of course before I knew what hell pregnancy would be for me, during the time I was still buying into the smiling faces on the pregnancy magazines. I have been very careful not to say "I want a baby, but I don't want to be pregnant", because I would love to have my own healthy baby.

I've become slightly more tolerant of seeing pictures of babies and seeing baby things, but not comfortable as yet.

I really hope I fall pregnant before the other people at work that are currently pregnant have their babies. I think I would feel better if it happened that way, but I shouldn't set my heart on anything either. I can just hope and pray that we conceive again quickly and that the next baby is meant to stay with us.

Oh dear. So much for not crying at work.

I'm helping out in another department since they have a bit of a backlog. A change is as good as a holiday they say. Better get back to work before they think I think I am on holiday!

Back at Work

I'm officially back at work today. Rudi and I hardly slept a wink last night, so I'm exhausted (Note to self: Take prescribed sleeping tablet tonight). I've been crying at least half the time I've been here. Everyone has been so sweet. I told my manager I would be OK if everyone just stopped asking me if I'm OK. I know they mean well, I really do, but I'm not OK and I'm just being reminded of it.

I cried in my manager's office. He was really supportive and said he will arrange more time off if I need it and that he wishes everything of the best for me for the future, etc. My supervisor also called me in and reiterated what my manager had said.

Offering me additional time off is great and everything, but what do I do at home? I have to carry on with my life and come back to my work some time. It might as well be now. Honestly, I would much rather sit in a corner and cry or curl up under a duvet and hibernate. I cannot lie it has been really hard and I want to run, but I've glued myself on this seat till four and I will remain here all day. Tomorrow I will come back and the day after that and the day after that.

Tonight I can collapse into my husband's arms and feel loved (if he's in the mood *wink* to make me feel loved...man...you know what I mean). It could have been worse. I must remember that too. What about that accident that happened where a mother and her pregnant daughter were killed because a truck fell off a bridge on top of their car? Imagine being that baby's father. To lose the woman you love and your baby. If I had lost Rudi through this process I would not have survived it. Whether or not he's been a model husband, he's been there. He only went fishing (at the worst possible time) that one time and afterwards we had a good talk about it and I realized he needed a little space and a little time alone to deal with the loss he felt. Sometimes I wish he would tell me how he is feeling so that I know I'm not going nuts, but I need to understand that he has his own way of dealing with this and doesn't need me pushing him right now.

Two quotes from the song 'Torch' from the latest Alanis Morissette album are so true for me now, of course for her the song is about a lover:

These are things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence
I never dreamed I would have to lay down my torch for you like this

One step one prayer I soldier on, simulating moving on

I am sure I could find a million lyrics from her songs that will help me grieve. I had almost forgotten how she allows me to go inside myself and scratch around in the dark places I dare not dwell. It's officially on my 'to do' list.

Graduation Day

Today is graduation day. Over a year ago I was nominated to take part in a programme at work. We basically did a course offered by Wits University on Telecommunications. About two months ago we wrote the final exam and today we receive our certificates in a special ceremony. I'm not sure if we will get a qualification that is recognized outside of the company, but at least we get some kind of recognition and I'm sure it will be recognized within the company when applying for other positions.

The course took place over a one year period and a lot of people dropped out along the way. All the candidates were nominated and it was implied that it was a great honour, so most felt obligated to participate (at least until they got tired of it). Some people attended all of the sessions, but didn't write the exam. Those that didn't write the exam or did not pass the exam will receive a certificate of attendance. The rest of us will receive a certificate of competence.

So I suppose in some way or form today is a 'happy' day, despite the fact that it's very difficult to be happy right now. Jubba wanted to send me home yesterday. A colleague asked me how the baby is, so I told him. He then did the worst thing he could do...he hugged me. When I am biting back tears the worst thing you can do is comfort me, the floodgates just open up. Jubba happened to walk past and saw me in tears, hence wanting to send me home.

Sarah wonders if I don't feel the way I do because I can feel something from the baby that nobody else can feel because I am her mother. That got me to thinking. Since before we found out about the problems with Lorelei I've been experiencing a lot of pain right at the bottom of my back (where my spine would end) and I wonder now if my back doesn't hurt because her back hurts there, where they suspect she has a problem. Right in the beginning of my pregnancy I used to be standing still and my foot would suddenly give way under me. I know it sounds really weird...but maybe I'm experiencing the things that she is experiencing. Maybe I am feeling her pain.

It's a good thing you don't know where I live...or you would probably be sending the men in the white lab coats my way.

Peeved with Jubba

Jubba made me incredibly mad yesterday. I don't remember being called incompetent so many times in one day...ever. At the end of the day I guess I shouldn't take it personally since he thinks everyone but himself is a blithering idiot. I wasn't the only one that suffered under his wrath...but I don't feel like I deserve it.

Leebeesa can relate to this as he is her line manager too and she suffers under him as well. No matter how hard you work or how well you work, it's never good enough. His management style is appalling. Nobody ever asks us to give feedback on his 'performance' as such, so nobody ever hears us. I seriously felt like crying yesterday. Rudi was supportive...but he doesn't really know how this man is. How he can make you feel like a worthless speck of nothing.

I'm still peeved with him today, although he could probably care less. Whether or not I told him how I felt, he'd just do it again somewhere down the line. He may apologize and feel bad at a particular junction - but it does not change who he is. Leebeesa has described him as a 'bull in a china shop'. I really cannot think of a better way to describe what he's like. Especially when he is getting pressure from above. I would actually much rather deal with Concussed One (his line manager) who has a much better way of speaking to people.

Even after telling me (and my entire team) yesterday that a street sweeper could do our jobs, he still had the audacity to ask me to do something for him today. I felt like telling him to find someone competent to do it. GRRRR.

I know I'm hormonal right now, but I've complained about Jubba even before I was pregnant and I'm not the only one that feels this way. Jubba has been working here for around 13 years though and has been in his current position for around 8. No hopes of him getting a promotion then.

P.S. Just click on the tag 'Jubba' to see other entries regarding him

P.S.S. Sarah loved her gift. I ended up buying her a leopard print comforter. She absolutely adores anything leopard print...so she was stoked with the gift. It sucked that I couldn't be there when she opened it (she opened her gifts after the party), but I'm just glad to know she liked it.

Internetlessness

I was called in by Jubba again this week (around Tuesday). His line manager (Concussed One) as once AGAIN complained to him about me being on the Internet. Apprently my previous boss (Tweedledoos) was involved in the conversation and he said he had the same problem with me when I was working in his department. They also mentioned my use of MSN. Concussed One requested that Jubba performance manage me. In other words he wants a formal discussion recorded on paper for future reference.

Jubba likes me...if only because I do a lot of extra work for him. He stuck up for me and told Concussed One that he doesn't have a problem with my work and does not feel comfortable performance managing a top performer. Bless.

So what I have done is disconnected myself from the outside world completely. I now suffer from a condition commonly known in South Africa as internetlessness. I didn't log into MSN or any external websites from Tuesday afternoon until Friday. I've been itching to blog, to research information on pregnancy and to look for a new place to live...but I've been too scared to open up anything on my PC. I don't want something retarded like surfing the Internet to cost me my job. Especially not with a baba on the way.

I heard a rumour later on that it was Tweedledoos that reported me in the first place. I would honestly not be surprised. It's quite typical of him. He probably feels that if he brings such things to the attention of Concussed One (who is also his line manager) that he might create the illusion of 'adding value'.

I DO have Internet at home, but I use my phone as a modem and mostly only get GPRS coverage which is so slow that I want to stab my eye out with a pencil.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to cut yourself off from the Internet 24/7. Especially when it is fast, free and at your fingertips all day. The temptation looming right behind everything you're looking at.

So here's a challenge. Try it. For 48 hours. No non-work related Internet. I dare you.

Counting down the hours

I am dying for home time today. I feel so drained and tired at the moment. I went to bed really early last night, but woke up in the middle of the night feeling queasy - tossing and turning.

The clothes I'm wearing are uncomfortable and I want to take them off. I still have to go to church tonight though...maybe I'll catch a nap when I get home. The problem with naps is that I'm really grumpy when I wake up and less in the mood to do anything than I was when I went to sleep.

I've been trying my best to keep myself busy with work activities today as I've been crapped on twice since moving to the new building. My manager thinks that I am on the internet too much and am therefore being unproductive. I feel a little victimized since I'm definitely not the only one who goes on to the internet, but as Jubba says - he has this perception now. He may not notice when I'm working, but as soon as he sees me on the internet (even once) he thinks 'She's on the internet again'. Bastards.

The work I've been doing is tedious and mind numbing. I've been drawing statistics and staring at excel for most of the day. *YAWN*. No wonder I'm dying to go home.

2h23 minutes to home time and counting...

Jubba Strikes Again

Jubba thought it appropriate to shout at me this morning and to accuse me of palming things off on him, regardless of the fact that information was specifically requested from him. He then proceeded to take out his anger on quite a few other people including the kitchen staff who decided to report him. Apparently he got into trouble. He did come and apologize not long after he had me crying at my desk (I'm hormonal, OK?), but that didn't make me feel better. You cannot unsay things.

Since the incident I feel OK. I resolved my problem without his assistance and will endeavour to do so in future. Heaven forbid anyone should ask him to do something.

A contractor called me today to make and appointment to come and fix the lights in our unit. Now that I've cancelled they want to come and fix the lights. Typical. I don't mind that they come and fix it at all and I will accommodate them with pleasure. One less thing that is broken for them to blame on us in my opinion.

I'm starting to get excited about moving. Every night I take a shower and the floor is covered in water I look forward to not having to deal with that anymore. Every time I flip the bedroom light switch and the light doesn't go on, I smile at the thought of having working lights (Eskom willing). All the little things that bothered me that I will be rid of are making me excited. It will also be sad as Rudi and I have memories there. We got married while living there...we are so happy living away from My Evil Mother that almost all our memories there are good...but the pros will outweigh the cons.

Jubba Redeemed?

The weekend wasn't too bad. I did work, but we had a cool braai with Boogaloo on Saturday. Boogaloo and Voldemort seem to be breaking up. Boogaloo will be moving out on his own on the 1st of July if things go according to plan. He is heart sore. I will be there for him every step of the way. He has supported me through so much pain and crap that I've had in my life. I couldn't do anything else.

Jubba just took me aside. He heard somewhere that he made me cry (refer to my previous entry about Jubba). I told him that he didn't make me cry, but that I was upset because I know that he is a real sweetheart, but he comes across as such an aggressive person it's hard for other people to see. I discussed some of the concerns of our team with him and I hope I cleared the air. He assured me that he was not dissatisfied with my work and advised me where I could improve - in a nice calm rational tone. It was rather refreshing. He really has a bad reputation and he knows he needs to work on it. I'll just have to learn to work around the aggression and not take it personally.

I'm really relieved that my working weekend is over.

Extremes

I'm not sure why, but lately I've been suffering under extremes.

On Saturday when we were in Knysna I was having such a lovely time. It was as if I was in a dream - after which the day turned into a nightmare. Rudi and I fought and I was very upset. The Sunday we had such a wonderful experience with the Knysna elephants, but the day turned out to be crap because of the electricity issue.

Yesterday I was over the moon because I achieved something that I have been striving towards for a long time and my entire day was ruined by my supervisor. I was excited about going to see our new building, but decided not to go for fear of my supervisor's wrath (my supervisor will be referred to as Jubba from now on). Jubba is great with customers and he can be really understanding. He has shown me that side of him. He can also be a freaking nightmare. He has had so many women in my department in tears because of the way he handles most situations. He puts the fear of God in you and then expects you to smile and comply. I didn't go to see the new building because I was afraid he would be upset as there would be too many people out of the office at the same time. Later on our specialist abducted me and we went to go and see the new building. It's beautiful, I will download and post the pictures at some point.

Perhaps I need to deal with situation differently. Perhaps kharma spots me being happy and decides to throw some crap at me because for some reason I don't deserve to be enjoying myself or to be happy. Stupid kharma.

I had my hair done yesterday. I paid a fortune to have it done. I had an appointment for 17:30, but arrived a little earlier. I only walked out of the salon at 21:00. Are they kidding me?! I had two people blow drying my hair near the end as the salon had already closed at 20:00 and everyone was eager to go home! Rudi complimented me on my hair and meant it, which made it all worthwhile. The only other time I paid so much to have my hair done was for my wedding.

I'm really tired, but I'm working this weekend so I'll have to suck it up and keep going. *yawn*