Amniocentesis

(Got the correct spelling from the doctor's bill)

I just went in for the amniocentesis. It didn't really hurt. There was more discomfort than pain. The specialist really is a lovely doctor. We should have the results of any major defects by Friday and I will be advised further then. The doctor only charged me R200.00 today. She didn't charge me any consultation fees, although I took up enough time for an entire appointment. The only thing she charged me for was the drawing of the amniotic fluid. Bless her.

She was able to see a few things better today. She can't really see that the spine closes properly at the bottom. She said the heart looks properly formed - all four chambers. The feet are still very obviously not formed correctly and it seems that the calves are under developed. She said the cerebellum looks like it has formed properly, but the head is slightly 'lemon' shaped which indicates that there might be a problem. She mentioned spina bifida today and has included it in the tests she requires by Friday. I heard her mark the tests as urgent.

She said on the one hand you hope the tests will answer some questions, but practically all answers are bad news. On the other hand if you don't have answers...you still don't have answers. If the results of the tests rule most things out we will have to see what happens as the pregnancy develops.

I have received so much love and support. My family has been there for me, the church has been there for me and my friends have come through for me too. Leebeesa spoke to my supervisor who has spoken to our teams about my situation. She said he said very little, but it had the maximum effect. She said the reaction was concerned, but respectful. I was supposed to work this weekend, but apparently my team has made alternative arrangements to help me out. Bless them.

The ladies at Your Parenting Community (clickable badge on the right) have also poured out love, support and prayers.

I still feel like this is going to be very, very difficult...but all the love and support we are receiving has overwhelmed me and I feel like I can get through this. Whatever the outcome.

Thank you, everyone, for everything. You will never know what it means to me. I love you all.

Extremes

I'm not sure why, but lately I've been suffering under extremes.

On Saturday when we were in Knysna I was having such a lovely time. It was as if I was in a dream - after which the day turned into a nightmare. Rudi and I fought and I was very upset. The Sunday we had such a wonderful experience with the Knysna elephants, but the day turned out to be crap because of the electricity issue.

Yesterday I was over the moon because I achieved something that I have been striving towards for a long time and my entire day was ruined by my supervisor. I was excited about going to see our new building, but decided not to go for fear of my supervisor's wrath (my supervisor will be referred to as Jubba from now on). Jubba is great with customers and he can be really understanding. He has shown me that side of him. He can also be a freaking nightmare. He has had so many women in my department in tears because of the way he handles most situations. He puts the fear of God in you and then expects you to smile and comply. I didn't go to see the new building because I was afraid he would be upset as there would be too many people out of the office at the same time. Later on our specialist abducted me and we went to go and see the new building. It's beautiful, I will download and post the pictures at some point.

Perhaps I need to deal with situation differently. Perhaps kharma spots me being happy and decides to throw some crap at me because for some reason I don't deserve to be enjoying myself or to be happy. Stupid kharma.

I had my hair done yesterday. I paid a fortune to have it done. I had an appointment for 17:30, but arrived a little earlier. I only walked out of the salon at 21:00. Are they kidding me?! I had two people blow drying my hair near the end as the salon had already closed at 20:00 and everyone was eager to go home! Rudi complimented me on my hair and meant it, which made it all worthwhile. The only other time I paid so much to have my hair done was for my wedding.

I'm really tired, but I'm working this weekend so I'll have to suck it up and keep going. *yawn*