The Dreaded Jubba

Oh my goodness. I've received reports from work that Jubba is on the war path (again). Apparently I'm in for it when I get back. Now I'm DREADING going back to work. I am already emotional (PMS?) and frustrated with my own things in my head...now I have to be shouted at and be told how worthless I am by this...this...man. Word is that he wants to crap all over me about surfing the internet (again). I did relax a bit over the festive season...(I'm not the only one that surfs for Pete's sake! Just the only one that is singled out constantly), but apparently he said I stopped for about a week. Absolute bullshit. I'll tell him that to his face. I don't appreciate him discussing this with an entire team behind my back either. Bastard! Don't know how often I'll be able to blog with him looking over my shoulder :(

Apparently my team has already been called in and told how useless they are. The girls have been accused of 'not doing anything' (this is the second time this has happened in my absence) the boys fervently agreeing. Liars.

I wish someone would stand up to him. I wish we could all stand up to him. We are too afraid though...because if nothing happens and he stays in his current position we are sure to be victimized afterward *sigh* What to do? Eat up all his crap is what we do. ARGH!

I already have a pimple and cramps today. Not looking good for pregnancy :(

Internetlessness

I was called in by Jubba again this week (around Tuesday). His line manager (Concussed One) as once AGAIN complained to him about me being on the Internet. Apprently my previous boss (Tweedledoos) was involved in the conversation and he said he had the same problem with me when I was working in his department. They also mentioned my use of MSN. Concussed One requested that Jubba performance manage me. In other words he wants a formal discussion recorded on paper for future reference.

Jubba likes me...if only because I do a lot of extra work for him. He stuck up for me and told Concussed One that he doesn't have a problem with my work and does not feel comfortable performance managing a top performer. Bless.

So what I have done is disconnected myself from the outside world completely. I now suffer from a condition commonly known in South Africa as internetlessness. I didn't log into MSN or any external websites from Tuesday afternoon until Friday. I've been itching to blog, to research information on pregnancy and to look for a new place to live...but I've been too scared to open up anything on my PC. I don't want something retarded like surfing the Internet to cost me my job. Especially not with a baba on the way.

I heard a rumour later on that it was Tweedledoos that reported me in the first place. I would honestly not be surprised. It's quite typical of him. He probably feels that if he brings such things to the attention of Concussed One (who is also his line manager) that he might create the illusion of 'adding value'.

I DO have Internet at home, but I use my phone as a modem and mostly only get GPRS coverage which is so slow that I want to stab my eye out with a pencil.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to cut yourself off from the Internet 24/7. Especially when it is fast, free and at your fingertips all day. The temptation looming right behind everything you're looking at.

So here's a challenge. Try it. For 48 hours. No non-work related Internet. I dare you.

Crazy

Well...it has been 'proven' that my suspicions were incorrect. Apparently I'm crazy and probably imagining everything. I don't think I'm crazy...and somehow hate for people to think that I am psychotic. I should learn to not care what people think. I really should.

The only reason I'm looking forward to the weekend is because I won't have to come to work. We don't have any plans for the weekend (other than Service for the Departed on Sunday) and I hope I'll actually be able to sleep late, rest and relax.

I'm dead tired and not in the mood for anything. I was crapped out again at work for 'being on the Internet too much'. Bastards. I wonder sometimes if my manager knows what my work applications look like. I wonder if he knows that some of them work within Internet explorer. Maybe he doesn't.

Let me log off before I get fired for crap.

P.S. I'm not comfortable talking about what my suspicion was at the moment, but I might feel better about talking about it at a later stage.

Counting down the hours

I am dying for home time today. I feel so drained and tired at the moment. I went to bed really early last night, but woke up in the middle of the night feeling queasy - tossing and turning.

The clothes I'm wearing are uncomfortable and I want to take them off. I still have to go to church tonight though...maybe I'll catch a nap when I get home. The problem with naps is that I'm really grumpy when I wake up and less in the mood to do anything than I was when I went to sleep.

I've been trying my best to keep myself busy with work activities today as I've been crapped on twice since moving to the new building. My manager thinks that I am on the internet too much and am therefore being unproductive. I feel a little victimized since I'm definitely not the only one who goes on to the internet, but as Jubba says - he has this perception now. He may not notice when I'm working, but as soon as he sees me on the internet (even once) he thinks 'She's on the internet again'. Bastards.

The work I've been doing is tedious and mind numbing. I've been drawing statistics and staring at excel for most of the day. *YAWN*. No wonder I'm dying to go home.

2h23 minutes to home time and counting...