My Evil Mother and Grandfather updates

So. Great news! My grandfather's colon is cancer free. He is so elated by this news that he is even considering another round of chemo instead of the operation on his liver. The chemo will make him very ill, but he feels he will still be able to work when he is having chemo whereas he will be off work for a full month if he has the operation to remove the cancer from his liver. He'll be seeing a specialist in about a week to discuss his options and take things from there.

I took them out to dinner last night to celebrate his health, their 47 year wedding anniversary, his birthday (which is on the 13th of June) and to thank him for looking after Amber while we were away. We had a nice quiet dinner. It was lovely.

My Evil Mother is up to her old tricks. Her husband let it slip that my aunt could afford to 'lose her pension' as she works from home. Just goes to show what they must have been scheming about. My aunt's pension, which she worked hard for. My Evil Mother is still living with my aunt and uncle, although her husband was kicked out after one too many drunken tantrums at all hours of the morning. She tried to get him back in with promises of money (seeing as how they don't pay rent or contribute in any way) and some luxury food items. Luckily, for once, my uncle stood firm and kept by his decision. My Evil Mother has been hell to live with ever since. Rudi could not believe the way My Evil Mother spoke to my uncle in his own house. If My Evil Mother is really that desperate to be with her husband, then she should go and stay with him and his mother. My Evil Mother has told us horror stories of how his mother is evil and how she is an alcoholic. I think the actual story is that she is much more demanding about incoming contributions and them pulling their weight than my aunt and uncle are.

My Evil Mother *loves* throwing our religion/beliefs in our faces. She'll often say things like 'God doesn't sleep' - she seems totally oblivious to the fact that the same applies to her. Sometimes it's funny, but for people like my grandfather and my uncle who both hold ministries within the church the guilt trip she takes them along for is often effective. Last Wednesday in church she went as far as to keep her communion wafer and to shove it in my uncle's hand after church saying 'You need it more than I do'. I cracked up when I heard this. I'm actually quite sure my uncle - who was giving her a lift home from church at the time, the selfish bastard - might have cracked up also. He has a good sense of humour. My grandparents on the other hand, didn't think it was funny.

It is beyond me that My Evil Mother is still a free woman. The amount of fraud she has committed...and I'm only aware of a portion of it...must be substantial. Her ethics have always come in to question where she was employed. Just recently she went to work for a company. She had been there for less than a week and was given the company credit card to buy coffee, tea and a few other office supplies. She ended up spending R2500.00 and buying clothes and shoes for her husband. WHO DOES THAT?!

Did I ever tell you that she faked her suicide once because I refused to draw R500.00 and 'lend' it to her? This was before my eyes opened to her ways and I was in a total panic. I even phoned the police. She came home with a total BS story that didn't even make sense about how she had parked her car on the side of one of the national roads and put a pipe from the exhaust into the window (nothing blocking the open gaps in the window to prevent ventilation - DUH), she also claimed the pipe and everything were already in the car. Some 'valiant' man pulled over, took her to hospital and paid the bill apparently. What a load of bull.

Anyway...

I'm working in another portfolio today. I hate this portfolio. More often than not the feedback I have to give customers is negative and they usually get angry. It's not a nice way to spend a day. I'm the only one in my team who hasn't had a turn yet, so by default I have to go over today. Suck!

It feels like...

...my marriage is ending. Rudi and I have been at each other's throats every weekend for weeks now. Our weekend seemed to be going well yesterday until I got home from visiting a friend.

He completely lost his mind. When I saw him like this before the fight we had had escalated to the point where he became unpredictably angry. Last night he was at this point almost immediately.

He had gone fishing with Boring Person in the morning and ended up going there after the fishing trip. This was predictable enough. He was supposed to 'have it out' with him about the comments he had made the previous weekend. I called him as I left the movie I went to see with Leebeesa and discovered he was there (although he had said he was going to Crack Head's house after fishing). Apparently Crack Head had to go to hospital with his baby. Rudi then asked me to join him at Boring Person's house. Naturally I refused. He said that Boring Person wanted to speak to me and I told him I was not interested in anything he had to say.

When I got home naturally I asked him what Boring Person had said, curious to know why he had so easily forgiven him. Then he blew his top. All sorts of accusations were thrown at me. About how I am always miserable and he has to answer to his friends about it. About how his friends are never good enough and I always have a problem with them. About how he can't go out and enjoy his day because he anticipates a call or SMS from me nagging him. About how he would rather die than continue to be unhappy like this.

He then asked me where the sleeping tablets are (the gynae had prescribed some after we lost our baby) and started taking them. Initially he took two, then another three ad as the fight escalated wanted to take two more. I took the last two, not only to prevent him from taking them, but because I knew he would sleep on the couch and that would keep me awake. I threatened to call his mother, which followed with threats from him to smash my (new) phone and leave. I've seen him smash a phone before...so I didn't call his mother - whom I think had full right to know he was talking about and trying to kill himself.

In reality I don't really think that he wanted to kill himself. I think he was trying to stage drama for me to be upset. I would have done something much more reliable like slitting his wrists if he REALLY wanted to kill himself. So he's crying out for help.

Apparently he doesn't have enough freedom. Apparently I am too clingy and expect too much. Apparently I don't approve of any of his friends and I am a stuck up bitch. Apparently I am always miserable. Apparently everything is my fault I make him want to die.

I don't think that we're going to make it at this rate. He has made it clear that I make him unhappy. In fact, he's made it clear that he would rather be single, that is the life that he seems to want to live.

We didn't speak this morning. He sent me an SMS saying 'I'm sick and tired of this shit. I think I should leave'.

I replied saying 'Your solution to everything is to run away. You don't want to work on it so I don't know what to do either. I really think we should go for counselling, but you don't want to. If you don't want to work on our marriage, I can't do anything about it. I cannot fix it alone'

He can file divorce if he wants it that badly.