I saw the sign

It was amazing. It was like a sign.

Yesterday I spent a lot of time thinking about and planning getting my tattoo. I worked out my budget, decided where I wanted it and how big I wanted it to be. I saved it on a memory stick and planned to get a quote for it as soon as possible. I even decided I'd have it done soon after we come back from George.

Yesterday around two the doctor called and advised me that I could pick up my prescription, he had left it at his practice for me. I was hoping they'd fax it to the pharmacy near my house, but they didn't. Rudi picked Lindor up from work and we went on our way to fetch my sleeping tablets. Lindor usually insists on stopping at a bottle store very close to where I work so they can have a beer - yes, in the car. It irritates me to no end, but for some reason he didn't say anything yesterday. It just annoys me that having a beer is *that* urgent. It can freaking wait as far as I'm concerned. It's also not as if it only happens on a Friday. Any day we give him a lift home a stop at the first bottle store is mandatory. Anyway, since we had to go to the doctor's office I suggested we stop at a small bottle store on the way there.

Low and behold, at the very same bottle store at the very same time was the guy who had re-done my current tattoo. I haven't seen him since he re-inked me and that was at least 4 years ago. He had a look at my tattoo and said he wants to do the purple over. You can see the photo of my current tattoo here. Tristan added the flowing 'tails' to the wings as well. He gave me his number and said he'd be happy to do it for me. Suddenly I am super excited. I would have done it yesterday if I could!

Sherbet. I haven't touched my work yet. I guess I better get going if I want to get out of here at a reasonable hour!

Next week will be exciting!

I’m feeling slightly better today. I managed to get in another good night’s rest last night after taking my last sleeping tablet. I just called the doctor and the receptionist has said she will ask him to call me back. He’s only in until 11AM today and I only called him around 10:30, so I hope he gets around to calling me back and will write a prescription for me. I’m also really hungry all the time, which is something the doctor did warn me about, but I’m doing my best to keep that under control with sheer will power. As if I have a lot of that. I am just trying to keep my 9kg loss in mind and hoping I don’t mess it up! I’ve brought my water with to work and already finished more than half of it. I can’t exercise as yet…my cough is still lingering and I become tired and short of breath very easily, so I’ll keep that on the back burner for a while.

I finished my antibiotics and no longer seem to need any pain medication as my muscle aches have subsided to an acceptable level. I still reach for the cough mixture or inhaler every now and then, but I’m using these less and less. Now if my appetite would subside, I could sleep like I need to and I could have my energy back I would once again be a happy camper.

Yesterday I intended to make a few lists. A shopping list, a list of things to be packed when we go to George next weekend…eventually I decided to make a list of lists I need to make, but as you may have noticed yesterday was a write off for me. I need to make a list of things to pack for George because I always end up forgetting *something* important. When I told Rudi I want to make a shopping list he said ‘We need everything’. No we don’t! I want to make a list of everything we specifically need plus a few items like a new electric toothbrush I want for myself.

Two more things have me excited. On Monday when I get paid I will be paying off the pathologist bill that I would only have finished paying in November had I stuck to the scheduled payments. After paying almost R2500.00 in the last two months the outstanding balance is less than R900.00. I will also be paying off everything *I* owe on my second credit card. I will be DEBT FREE save my car and our new TV (of which I am only paying half – around R2500.00.

What will I do to celebrate? I’m going to get my new tattoo. I’m pretty sure I’ll have enough money left over once I’ve paid everything. I’ve decided to have the following one done below the butterfly I already have on my right shoulder (it will be between 5 and 6 centimetres across):



I know the starting price for tatoos where I will have it done is R350.00. I think they will most likely charge around R500.00 to do it for me as it's not huge and not very intricate. I'm not sure if they will ask an extra fee because the design is not their own, but they shouldn't. I'll most likely only have it done when we return from George after next weekend.

I can't wait! Pay day, freedom from debt, a trip to George and then my tattoo!

-1kg

I’ve been booked off work again today. Hopefully it will be the last time for a while. I’m feeling really run down and exhausted and so sick of taking pills it’s not funny anymore. The doctor said I’m starting to feel so tired because my body has been deprived of oxygen for so long now. Even a simple task like drying my hair has me feeling like I’m going to keel over. My chest was actually worse when I saw him yesterday than it was when I saw him a week ago. I told him straight that I’m not a lightweight and he’s going to need to bring out the heavy drugs in order to fix me. So I got a cortisone shot last night and a course of expensive antibiotics. If I’m not feeling better by Friday they’re going to have to do blood tests to see what is wrong with me. This morning my chest is feeling slightly less wheezy, but I’m still feeling quite weak and my muscles are still aching. I’ll rest again today as much as I can and take on the world tomorrow.

I think I figured out why the doctor took so long to fix me. He mentioned yesterday he used to be a pharmacist. No wonder he only gave me over the counter medication the first time I saw him! My regular GP usually whips out the antibiotics first thing. My regular GP is not nearly as friendly and doesn’t take the time to explain things as his colleague does, but he is close to retirement age and I’m going to have to find a competent replacement for him sometime soon.

The doctor has forbidden me to conceive while I’m on the antibiotics and after having the cortisone shot. He wanted to do a blood test to be sure I’m not pregnant before giving me the medication, but I assured him that I only just started ovulating and that I doubted there was any chance of conception already. I guess it will be abstinence for a while yet.

SO! I’ve lost 9kg so far! NINE! Honestly when I started this journey, 9 was never a number I thought I could get to. If I lose 4 more kilos I’ll beat my all time record of 13 lost in one go. I must say that lately the effort has not been much from my side. My appetite has gone for a loop since I’ve been sick and I’ve only really eaten small amounts to facilitate taking my medication. I just need to make sure that I maintain the weight loss once I’m well and get my butt into gear to lose more!

I haven’t been sleeping very well. I’ve either been too hot, coughing or very restless. This has also probably been contributing to my fatigue. Last night I lay staring at the ceiling coming up with a thousand ideas for a blog post. It would take me all day to write…and you all day to read, so I’ll spare you.

*yawn* I hope I can manage to get back to sleep now.

Help me choose my tattoo!

So I've decided to follow Angel's advice and am rather having my tattoo done in English as I could never really tell what was being permanently etched onto my skin in a foreign script. After googling 'James' in Chinese lettering I found symbols completely different from the ones we saw at the tattoo parlour. Rather safe than sorry!

So I received an e-mail from SAMoms (a Yahoo group I am part of) which led me to this site which has endless fonts for tattoos. I have chosen three fonts which I like, but haven't settled on a particular one. Help me choose! The size varies in these pics, but the website allows you to enlarge the fonts as well. Drop me a comment and tell me which one you like!

1.
2.
3.

Although this is not a democracy, I'm sure I could be swayed by number of votes to get a certain one. So send your friends here to choose their favourite too and drop me a comment!

I've been booked off sick today. I was feeling terrible yesterday and made an appointment to see the doctor after work. I went to see a new doctor since my regular GP was away. He was SUCH a nice man. Very personable, polite and friendly. I might even go to him again. He says I am developing flu, but don't need to worry about menangitis or anything serious. He gave me some medicine for my symptoms, booked me off for today and sent me on my merry way. I feel a little worse today, but the medicine is helping. It always gets worse before it gets better hey. The doctor gave me something called Empacod, the pharmacist said 'This has Codeine in it, so it will make you feel lekker (nice)'. I usually take Adcodol so I'm familiar with Codeine and it's never really done anything for me, but these tablets have given me a *slight* buzz. Nice.

Tomorrow I have a hair appointment. I hope my hairdresser can even out the colour and give me a nice cut. I'm in the mood for a new style...but still don't want to lose my length. Will chat to her about some bangs or a fringe or something. I'm very nervous to get a fringe - it's really high maintenance to make sure it always looks good. I think I could handle bangs, you can always stick them behind your ears if they get in the way.

We have guests coming over for a braai (BBQ) tonight and Rudi has left the house in a glorious mess, so even though I'm sick I still have to clean. Ugh.

Now don't forget to comment and tell me which tattoo you like!

Doctors...GRRR

Physically I still feel like crap today. I'm going to the doctor later this afternoon since I'm convinced I need antibiotics and the only way to get my hands on them is to pay my doctor over R200.00 to write the name of the medication down on a piece of paper. Then we'll see how much the medicine costs. Last time I needed antibiotics the medication alone was R250.00. Ugh. Too many doctors bills.

I checked online and it seems that my medical aid covered most of the expenses in the hospital save around R200.00 which I can cope with. They paid out around R9000.00. It's about time they coughed, instead of me.

Emotionally I've been numbed today. No crying. Sadness...and anxious to see the photos that the geneticist will send (I really hope she doesn't forget), but otherwise numb. I am really not looking forward to going back to work on Monday, despite the fact that I'm not doing anything constructive at home. Other than cleaning. Cleaning helps distract me, although I don't have to think very hard while doing it.

I hope I feel better by Saturday, antibiotics usually take a day or two to kick in, so if the weather clears up Rudi and I can have a fun relaxing day together. Hopefully we can forget the sadness for a little while.

Scan pictures

Scan pictures! I'm still feeling queasy today. Have head a headache and a strange sore throat since last night. I really, really hope I'm not getting sick again as my medical aid is depleted for the year. All appointments and medication will have to be paid cash from now on. OUCH! Hopefully if I can figure out how to do my tax return I can get a rebate.




Jubba scanned these. I would have made them straight. For the record. You can click on the image for a closer look.

Pregnancy

Pregnancy has to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Feeling constantly sick, not enjoying food, not enjoying the company of people, not wanting to have sex, not being able to have a glass of wine, lower back ache...these things are making my life hell at the moment

They say with great sacrifice comes great reward, but it is really hard for me to think of or imagine the reward if I'm in the thick of the sacrifice. Also, because I haven't had a child before I don't know of 'the joy it brings' or how wonderful it is going to be once this part is over.

I've tried all the remedies that people have suggested. I've tried medication. Nothing seems to make me feel any better. I think that my morning sickness getting worse is linked to the vitamins I'm taking. I started taking them again a few days ago and I have been feeling like utter crap since yesterday.

I've already cried this morning. Yes I feel sorry for myself, very sorry. I know that millions of women are going through this and that eventually it will be over, but right now while I'm contemplating sticking my finger down my throat for some relief I see no end in sight.

I just want to crawl under a duvet until all this is over. I couldn't even take off work for fear of them thinking I'm trying to take a 'long weekend'.

Please God let this be over soon.

Not a cure

I am so freaking sick and tired of being sick. The lollipops either only work in the morning or it was a fluke. I was so ill last night that I didn't go to church. I feel so guilty about not going, but I really am sick.

It's important that I go to church now. Especially with my grandfather being sick and me wanting God's blessing with the baby.

I feel so helpless. I was crying last night. Poor Rudi also doesn't know what to do with me. He's just as helpless as I am. Strangely enough I seem to feel most ill at night.

I've started taking the the morning sickness tablets again. I really can't feel this way all the time. I'm a wuss. I know it. I don't care what anyone says or thinks.

Rudi says I should go to the doctor, but I don't think that there's anything the doctor can do for me either. I'm not supposed to be taking any medicine or anything. Baby Centre says I should try exercising. Apparently it helps. It's winter now and it's cold and raining. I don't have any exercise equipment and I don't have a gym subscription. How am I supposed to exercise? Walk up and down the stairs? Bleugh.

We went to look at another apartment yesterday. It's smaller than what we have now and costs more. Pfft. I'm starting to feel like we're not going to find anything. The agent said that if we don't find something in the first two weeks we might be screwed because most of the properties are gone by then.

Can't I just sleep through the next month and wake up feeling normal in a great new place - already moved?

FFS. I'm not asking much here.

P.S. The lollipops still seem to work in the mornings. I forgot to mention that I'm getting dark circles under my eyes. Now I don't only feel like shit, I look like shit too. Great.