So I've taken the plunge and paid for my own domain for the next year. It's still being setup and my template isn't done yet. Someone has been most gracious and offered to do it for me, but these things don't happen overnight. I'm excited. Yesterday when I got the ball rolling and started sketching my template idea I was almost vibrating with excitement!
Anyway. We're going to watch Harry Potter: Half Blood Prince tomorrow with Leebeesa. I'm really looking forward to it! I enjoyed the Harry Potter books very much and while the movies are not nearly as magical...I enjoy seeing the characters come to life.
I've got a TON of work and I'm totally unmotivated to do any of it. I'm only taking half a lunch today because I anticipate I might not be able to finish said work and on a Friday that is simply unacceptable. I've got angry customers waiting to be called back as well. I hate angry customers. Especially since they tend to vent on me, who did NOT CAUSE THEIR PROBLEM. The nicer you are to me, the more willing I am to help you mofo. Duh. So shout at me, take my name and take a number.
My domain will be live by next week (maybe even tomorrow), but then I have to figure WordPress out and also wait for my template to get done. The gentleman making my template also offered to move my posts from blogger to WordPress which would be lovely. I would hate to lose all the work and emotion I've poured into this blog.
I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blog. Show all posts
Friday, 17 July 2009
Thursday, 11 June 2009
*YAWN*
In the past few days I have considered starting a separate blog, but have put the idea to bed. I can barely cope with regularly blogging here...I couldn't cope with two. I could perhaps write a guest entry on another blog, but not a daily blog as the second one would be. How on earth does Angel manage her 3 blogs?! So I've decided to keep it at just one blog.
My working weekend is this weekend, plus I'm working the public holiday (alone!) next week. So I'll probably be stuck at work all day on Tuesday :( SUCK. Rudi was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of the overtime I'll be earning...but I'm TIRED. Dammit!
I feel like I need a break...yes I know we were just away...but I dream of being a lady of leisure. Wouldn't that be nice?
By the way...I didn't gain any weight this week. Completely slipped my mind to mention it.
My working weekend is this weekend, plus I'm working the public holiday (alone!) next week. So I'll probably be stuck at work all day on Tuesday :( SUCK. Rudi was rubbing his hands together at the prospect of the overtime I'll be earning...but I'm TIRED. Dammit!
I feel like I need a break...yes I know we were just away...but I dream of being a lady of leisure. Wouldn't that be nice?
By the way...I didn't gain any weight this week. Completely slipped my mind to mention it.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Emo
I feel so emo today. It’s not anybody’s fault. I suppose it’s just a culmination of things that have made me feel distraught and inconsolable.
I had the day off work today. The Company was nice enough to make allowance for us to observe Ascension Day today. Last night Rudi went to play darts. I asked him very nicely not to wake me when he got home as I am already having trouble sleeping and would have taken my second last sleeping tablet. I didn’t know if I would be able to get back to sleep if I was disturbed. He woke me up anyway.
This morning I went to church, after which my grandmother picked up My Evil Mother for work and we went off to the supermarket where I bought some things to make a nice dinner for Rudi. I managed to sleep for about 30 minutes this afternoon, but my much needed nap was rudely interrupted by a phone call from work which I rejected. The damage was done though.
Shortly after this my grandfather called. He had gone for another colonoscopy today. It was a routine check up after his operation last year in which they removed about 10 centimeters of his colon. They found an abnormality. They took a sample and have sent it away for testing. It could be more cancer. It seems I will need to start facing the fact that my grandfather is not going to be with us much longer. I never expected it to turn out this way. My Oupa was meant to be around to see my baby.
At some stage during the day I was looking for something for heartburn – one of the many tablets I’m taking at the moment seems to cause it. While shuffling through our cupboards I came across the positive pregnancy test I had taken last year, like I wasn’t feeling sad enough already. The longing for a baby has been coming back rather strongly lately, very strongly. I can’t deny it anymore. As hard is it seems to be to just get pregnant, other negative thoughts have been creeping into my mind. Getting pregnant is only half the battle won; there are still a million things that could go wrong after conception has taken place. You have to get pregnant first though…and that seems to be proving much more time consuming that I would have liked.
So to distract myself I set about cooking supper. I made some chicken, roast vegetables and baby potatoes with garlic butter. Elaborate for me. Rudi usually cooks, but seeing as how I was at home I thought I would treat him. Rudi came home on time and upon seeing the meal I prepared for him he looked at me expectantly and said ‘What’s for pudding?’
Snap. That did it.
I went from zero to bitch in 0.2 seconds.
I just feel like crying. I’m still exhausted. My sleeping tablets are finished. Turns out they’re a schedule 5 drug and the doctor was not in today for me to call to ask for a script. I lay in Rudi’s arms for a while and cried a bit. He hates it when I cry. It frustrates him. He’s never really known how to handle it properly. He asked what the matter is, but the truth is I don’t want to talk about it. I would just start crying and that would just make him feel more helpless. He can’t fix it. He can’t say anything to make it better. He can’t change it.
I find that when I am in dire emotional need I have friends that are there for me. Friends, who are willing to help and do almost anything, Leebeesa for instance, when I was in hospital last year I swear I could have asked her for anything and she would have been prepared to do it, the problem is, when you’re THAT down and out, there is nothing anyone can say or do that can make things better. This is no fault of theirs. You’re inconsolable. That’s simply what it is to be inconsolable.
Lately I find that the internet has been a great source of comfort for me. My blog: an outlet like no other. Twitter, a stream of consciousness, constant support and people who care. Your Parenting Community…wonderful women on there. I’m not sure what would have happened to me if I didn’t have these people and these things in my life.
I do not know if I would have made it. Thank you, every single person who has reached out to me, who has acknowledged me…who has spared me a gesture, a thought, a comment, a prayer, a tweet, a call or an SMS. Even if you are only reading this, I might not have been able to blog today had it not been for YOU.
I had the day off work today. The Company was nice enough to make allowance for us to observe Ascension Day today. Last night Rudi went to play darts. I asked him very nicely not to wake me when he got home as I am already having trouble sleeping and would have taken my second last sleeping tablet. I didn’t know if I would be able to get back to sleep if I was disturbed. He woke me up anyway.
This morning I went to church, after which my grandmother picked up My Evil Mother for work and we went off to the supermarket where I bought some things to make a nice dinner for Rudi. I managed to sleep for about 30 minutes this afternoon, but my much needed nap was rudely interrupted by a phone call from work which I rejected. The damage was done though.
Shortly after this my grandfather called. He had gone for another colonoscopy today. It was a routine check up after his operation last year in which they removed about 10 centimeters of his colon. They found an abnormality. They took a sample and have sent it away for testing. It could be more cancer. It seems I will need to start facing the fact that my grandfather is not going to be with us much longer. I never expected it to turn out this way. My Oupa was meant to be around to see my baby.
At some stage during the day I was looking for something for heartburn – one of the many tablets I’m taking at the moment seems to cause it. While shuffling through our cupboards I came across the positive pregnancy test I had taken last year, like I wasn’t feeling sad enough already. The longing for a baby has been coming back rather strongly lately, very strongly. I can’t deny it anymore. As hard is it seems to be to just get pregnant, other negative thoughts have been creeping into my mind. Getting pregnant is only half the battle won; there are still a million things that could go wrong after conception has taken place. You have to get pregnant first though…and that seems to be proving much more time consuming that I would have liked.
So to distract myself I set about cooking supper. I made some chicken, roast vegetables and baby potatoes with garlic butter. Elaborate for me. Rudi usually cooks, but seeing as how I was at home I thought I would treat him. Rudi came home on time and upon seeing the meal I prepared for him he looked at me expectantly and said ‘What’s for pudding?’
Snap. That did it.
I went from zero to bitch in 0.2 seconds.
I just feel like crying. I’m still exhausted. My sleeping tablets are finished. Turns out they’re a schedule 5 drug and the doctor was not in today for me to call to ask for a script. I lay in Rudi’s arms for a while and cried a bit. He hates it when I cry. It frustrates him. He’s never really known how to handle it properly. He asked what the matter is, but the truth is I don’t want to talk about it. I would just start crying and that would just make him feel more helpless. He can’t fix it. He can’t say anything to make it better. He can’t change it.
I find that when I am in dire emotional need I have friends that are there for me. Friends, who are willing to help and do almost anything, Leebeesa for instance, when I was in hospital last year I swear I could have asked her for anything and she would have been prepared to do it, the problem is, when you’re THAT down and out, there is nothing anyone can say or do that can make things better. This is no fault of theirs. You’re inconsolable. That’s simply what it is to be inconsolable.
Lately I find that the internet has been a great source of comfort for me. My blog: an outlet like no other. Twitter, a stream of consciousness, constant support and people who care. Your Parenting Community…wonderful women on there. I’m not sure what would have happened to me if I didn’t have these people and these things in my life.
I do not know if I would have made it. Thank you, every single person who has reached out to me, who has acknowledged me…who has spared me a gesture, a thought, a comment, a prayer, a tweet, a call or an SMS. Even if you are only reading this, I might not have been able to blog today had it not been for YOU.
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~~Our Precious James~~
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