Friday, 29 August 2008

1st Trimester Blues - RANT WARNING

I hate this. I absolutely hate this. I will not do this again if someone paid me a million bucks. I will read this blog entry again if I am ever stupid enough to consider doing this again.

Being pregnant SUCKS. I've always said that I always wanted to be pregnant, but I never wanted a baby. Oh how naive! I saw happy pregnant ladies (with no stretch marks, mind you) in magazines...smiling and holding their beautiful belly. I saw parents laughing and in awe with their baby's movements. I saw glowing, happy and healthy women. What I did not see was a miserable women with dark rings under her eyes, stretchmarks on 2/3 of her body hanging over a toilet bowl crying.

I fucking hate the media. LIARS! My entire life the media has been telling me I'm not thin enough and I'm not pretty enough. I learned to deal with that. There will always be someone better than me...but why lie to me about this?! Why allow me to inflict this kind of misery on myself?!

You hear about 'morning sickness', but nobody really tells you how bad you feel. ALL THE TIME. NOW people are telling me that it was bad and a lot of people have told me that they suffered for their entire pregnancy, not just the first trimester as God surely intended. Now I am even more disheartened and see no end in sight. I can't possibly feel like this till March next year. I will slit my wrists.

Apparently this will subside or disappear completely once the placenta takes over the production of hormones. I know the placenta is there - they gynae identified it in the scan I went for, so what the hell is it doing now? Just hanging around? Work damnmit! Do what you are meant to do!

3 comments:

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

haha - sorry for laughing...i know how you feel though!

as for stretch marks - check this product out: http://yourparenting.ning.com/forum/topic/show?id=2173109%3ATopic%3A6474

Body Shop product - Body Focus Stretch Mark Improver - it's fucking amazing....my stretchmarks faded in about 2 weeks after using that shit!

ps - i sent you an invite to the Your Parenting Community - to your acidicice gmail - check it out - there's a pregnancy section too!

Kitty Cat said...

Oh no, you've just put me off wanting a baby. I haven't been sure if I want to go through all that...now I know I definitely do NOT!

Hope it gets better for you.

Cristine said...

I imagined myself walking around in afternoon sunlight, talking daily to my belly and being blissfully happy about being pregnant...Around 4 months I was crying every day because I felt like I was a bad preggy. People couldn't understand why I wasn't enjoying being pregnant (none of them having gone through it themselves) Now I say "I'm doing my best, sorry if it's not good enough for you!"