Almost Debt Free...

I saw my grandfather at church last night and no phone call yet. No news is good news in this case. I think it's so unfair that they didn't at least let him know by when he can expect a call. If he had known that he would know by Friday for instance and no call came, he could be relieved. Now we don't even know whether or not they have really checked.

Personally I feel really good. A policy of mine paid out (I cancelled it in favour of better cover) and I've used the money to pay off my credit card that yields the highest interest and paid a massive R2000 towards the pathologist bill. Next month is a bonus month and I intend to settle the straight facility of my other credit card and the pathologist bill (depending on the balance). I will then officially be debt free, spare the TV we just bought and my car. Not bad considering 3 years ago I was up to my eye balls in debt thanks to My Evil Mother. Of course I had a few small debts of my own, but the majority of the debt was made for/by My Evil Mother. I struggled to make monthly payments and had to cash in another savings policy just to keep my head above water. Now I even have savings! I've never had saving in my life. Financial freedom is wonderful. Being able to buy something your heart desires, because you can afford it...priceless.

I will be on leave for the next week, so I won't be blogging. I know you'll miss me. WA HA HA HA. I've already exceeded my data bundle on my phone so I won't be connecting from home. I suspect my laptop is downloading stuff it shouldn't be when I connect which is why it is chowing through my bundle. I must remember to download an anti-virus programme today and run it at home.

I'll still be on Twitter and Facebook for those who speak to me there.

UPDATE:

I've just requested some extra bundle, in case I *need* to blog :)

Not Pregnant

So my cycle did everyone a favour and showed up 'early'. Instead of putting me out of my misery it seems to have put me into it.

I'm really upset this morning. Disappointed I think would be an understatement. I am so sick and tired of this monthly rollercoaster. I want to throw in the towel. I don't want to try anymore, but I still want a baby. Rudi said the other day he thinks I'm broken. I don't think he was serious or meant to hurt my feelings, but he still said it.

So now I sit like an idiot crying at my desk. Again. I need to find a place to go and scream because I really want to.

Now I don't know what to do. I wish I could just forget about it, but it's really not that easy. I'm tired of sexy time not being fun anymore. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of resenting and being envious of other people who also deserve happiness and babies.

And so this rant could go on forever...

Before you say anything about the t-shirt being self deprecating. I get to say it. I was declined for a policy because of my weight. They wouldn't take my money. Bastards. Went for an extra walk yesterday for good measure. I'll show them.