Wednesday, 17 June 2009

How do I motivate my man?

Here's the thing, if I have nothing good to blog about, I'm not going to blog. That's not saying I think that I usually blog about interesting things, but I like to think I have something to say when I blog.

If you are bored, be assured I am working on a very long blog entry which I will post early next month. If saying that means you'll only come back early next month to check...then so be it!

Rudi is really frustrated at work. His boss isn't nice to work for. He gets shouted and sworn at nearly daily, gets asked to work late often and doesn't get paid overtime. He is at a disadvantage though. He works for a small company that doesn't necessarily play by the rules. He didn't finish high school (even though I tried to encourage him repeatedly) and he is an able bodied white male which puts him last on the list to be employed in South Africa (of course taking into account the fact that he doesn't have any qualifications). So he is really stuck. He has spoken of getting his code 14 drivers license so he could perhaps drive trucks, but he keeps putting off making the appointment. When I bring it up or try to encourage him he automatically switches to the defensive and inevitably we get into a fight. I just don't know how to approach it and seem like I am encouraging him rather than 'talking down' to him (which I honestly try not to do!) I understand it is a sensitive topic for a man, but it's difficult to be supportive when I don't see him making any effort to do something to get out of the situation he is in. I suppose I would have felt despondant and demotivated if I were him. Perhaps I wouldn't have had the courage to finish school either. I really wish his parents would have been more strict and forced him to finish school at the very least.

Anyway. Enough of that. Stay tuned for that post next month. I promise you're not going to want to miss it!

3 comments:

angel said...

Sometimes forcing one's offspring to finish school just doesn't calculate, despite the repurcussions.
I do hope he can find a way to get himself going.

Husbands Anonymous said...

Heya,
I feel for the guy- I've been (briefly) unemployed, and also employed in a crappy job for years. I did finish High School, but with such average results and lack of direction that it was pointless.
I know it's difficult to visualise a perfect job when you are stuck, but it does help- he must have some goals, things that get him excited, things he enjoys. The job climate is crappy in SA, so sometimes it's about creating a job for yourself, sometimes, it's just 'who you know'. Regardless, I imagine that he is a really good guy, or you wouldn't speak so well of him, and I think the right thing will come... Men do battle with feeling emasculated when jobless, but I'm sure he needs your support...

acidicice said...

Angel - you have a much better case than Rudi's parents did. He could have/should have done it!

Husbandsanon - Mediocre results are better than what looks like a lack of commitment. I guess. I hope he finds something that makes him happy or that at least pays him well enough to make him forget how unhappy he is and be grateful for what he has (my situation).