Sunday, 12 April 2009

I'm still alive!

Sjoe. Time for a proper entry.

Work this past week has been utter hell. It has been the most stressful week I have ever had while working for The Company and I've been there for almost nine years. That says a lot. I'm quite annoyed that a new product was launched and that it doesn't quite work properly just yet. Just before Easter weekend. Are these guys nuts? Now I'll have to go in to work tomorrow to help out as we are inundated with queries that cannot be handled by skeleton staff alone, while engineering is probably spending the weekend sipping cocktails. I was so much looking forward to having a nice long weekend, but am now forced to go and assist the staff at work. They cannot be expected to cope alone.

On a different note I now believe that you can change your life by changing your thoughts. I have nearly convinced myself that I no longer want to get pregnant. By continuously telling myself this, I am moving forward much more quickly than I could have hoped. Don't get me wrong, my thoughts are often plagued with it and I've been tempted more than once to dig out my ovulation microscope 'just to check'. I've also had thoughts of getting pregnant this month, despite not trying. I wouldn't say I'm all the way there yet...but I certainly am getting there. I am really just enjoying my life and doing my best to be happy for everyone else. Oh. Speaking of which, another pregnancy announced. 3 newly pregnant women in my life. 3 pregnancies I'll have to watch develop. I certainly need to keep my thoughts positive...otherwise I might just go mad!

My grandfather and I should be going to take some photos in and around Franshoek tomorrow. I'll have to make a plan to upload some photos when we're done.

My Evil Mother invited herself over to our place after church. Apparently she's too scared to stay at my aunt's house alone while they go out because, and I quote, 'the predator' might come around. This is what she's taken to calling her husband of six months. He's been kicked out and taken back in countless times. She really does exhaust me. Anyway, I made it clear to her that she cannot just invite herself over, even if I had said that I'm not going anywhere. Of course then the emotional blackmail routing started and she huffed off saying 'It's fine'. When I arrived home I received a SMS (from my aunt's phone) that said 'Good 4 u, u 4th commandment follower'. For those of you that don't know, the fourth commandment says 'Honour thy father and thy mother'. I didn't bother to respond. What on earth did she think she was going to do here? Have tea and a chat while my aunt and uncle were out? Not likely.

I cannot honestly say I'll be able to blog next week, we'll have to see what the work week holds, but I pray for my own sanity that things start calming down. Immediately. I don't think I can make it through another week like last week. Short week or not, it was terrible. I also think I'm going to stop looking forward to things. I was so excited about the short week and the long weekend, but look how it turned out. Just like I was excited about the last gynae appointment I went to with James. If you don't get your hopes up, you can't be disappointed.

Oh. I'm seriously considering getting another tattoo. Chinese symbols spelling out 'James' (or should I say 'sounding out'). It's going to cost around R800...I've got some money saved...but it's something that can wait a while. Perhaps in November on the one year anniversary of his birth and death. I'll be finished paying off the doctor's bills by then as well.

I hope you all had a blessed Easter and that you did not pick up an ounce of weight from it :)

4 comments:

angel said...

Ooh I feel you on new ink doll!!! But dear dear acidicice, can I plead with you to avoid any kind of eastern style lettering? I know it sounds paranoid- but I am always afraid that its someone's own creation or that it doesn't say what you think it does. Rather choose a gawjiss italic or calligraphy script...
Sorry, neuroses lecture over.
I'd love to see what you get!

I think about you every day sweetie, BIG cyber hugs!!!

Darla said...

Good luck! I completely feel the "if I convince myself it isn't true perhaps it won't hurt so bad that I'm just NOT getting pregnant" mind set feels like! And get the tattoo - you deserve it. I'm thinking of getting the Korean symbol of my last name. Luckily it's Hill and they have such a thing. The Korean is an omage to my kid sisters stint in the USAF as a Korean linguist ... but I'm sure that's overkill since we've just "met". :)
Thanks for the comment btw! Anyone getting love from Angel is good enough for me!

Wenchy said...

I want new ink also when I reach the 20kgs lost goal.... and your mother sounds demented.

acidicice said...

I tend to agree with you, Angel. When I googled it, completely different characters came up!
Darla - thanks for following me back to my blog :) Our baby's name happens to be my maiden surname as well :)
Wenchy - you'll be there REALLY soon! Also, my mother *is* demented!