Wednesday, 15 October 2008

Mother?

Blogger is still not allowing me to add photos :( I've uploaded the photo of the TV stand on Flickr, so if you'd like to see it you can by following this link:

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3010/2944059256_a579bae255.jpg?v=0

I had an interesting revelation last night. I have a human being inside of me. I was once what this little baby is right now. Everyone I know was once what this little baby is right now. Everyone in the WORLD was once what this little baby is.

I have a PERSON growing inside of me. It's so...ALIENS. It's...mind boggling really. While I was thinking about all of this I realized that I'm going to be someone's MOTHER. I know that this kind of realization hits every pregnant women at some point...it's so...so...overwhelming! How am I possibly qualified to raise someone to be a decent human being? I don't suppose anyone is qualified per se...or that people know how to do this any better than I do in the beginning, but it's quite daunting.

I'm going to have to be responsible. I'm going to have someone else completely dependant on me 24/7/365 and 366 on a leap year. I'm not going to be able to go out and let my hair down completely without worrying about the little one back home. I can't put off/call off this change. I can't postpone it. It's happening in a little over four months whether or not I like it. Hectic.

I'm a little worried about Rudi. He has had a cough for the last week or so and this morning he said there was blood in his phlegm. His nose is also really sore and raw on the inside. He's been self medicating since the medical aid is depleted, but I'm afraid he might have to go to the doctor if this doesn't get better and I KNOW the doctor is going to send him for chest x-rays, etc.

I suppose you can't put a price on your health hey.

1 comment:

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

i think it all depends on if its boy/girl.

mommy's boy, daddy's girl?

it's true.