Thursday, 13 March 2008

Deflated Ego

I'm demotivated to write since it doesn't seem like anyone is actually reading.

I am facing this internal struggle. Am I writing for an audience or am I writing for myself? I love having reference to the past online...at my fingertips so that I can reflect and sometimes put the present into perspective. So I guess I shouldn't care about whether anyone ELSE is reading. I suppose it's the egotistical Leo in me that wants attention, comments, compassion, praise and whatever else I've got coming to me.

I know I can have problems with not feeling sorry for myself - sometimes I feel like I'm having a crappy time and it's really handy to go back and check where I was 6 months ago or a year ago. I usually find that my life has improved and that I am doing much better. Then I get to kick myself in the ass and tell myself to stop being an ungrateful brat - because I'm a masochist.

So for everyone not out there, thanks for reading - you lurking trolls!

2 comments:

Michelle said...

If it is any consolation I am always here reading. have you on RSS feeds as well.

Chin up....you have come a far way....

acidicice said...

Thanks a million, Michelle. I feel comforted.